A Living Sacrifice

Is Your Husband Really First?

2012-01-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones,

As I shared in a past post, I spend the weeks of January praying over my life and each of my children's lives and ask the Lord to show me any changes that need to be made in any area. I also ask the Lord to show me any "Blind Spots" in my life that may have developed or have always been there that I could not see. A "Blind Spot" can be something good that you should be doing and are not, or it can be a sinful attitude or action that you should not be doing. Either way, a "Blind Spot" is something that you didn't realise or see...but you are guilty just the same.

The Lord has been faithful to answer my prayer and show me some blind spots that have developed in my life this past year. Although this can be a painful and humbling experience as my heart was broken over my sin in these areas and I saw myself the way God sees me, it is a very necessary experience if we want to grow closer to and become more like the Lord Jesus.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

A few of these "Blind Spots" were in my relationship with my husband. In these areas my husband had slipped out of the first place in my life and I had put myself first instead. I truly did not realize this until the Lord showed me...and my heart ached over my sin of selfishness.

Somehow it is so easy to let our dear husbands slip out of first place in our lives, it is something we wives must be so careful to guard against! Remember, our relationship to our husband runs parallel to our relationship with the Lord...if our husband does not have first place in any area...the Lord does not have first place in that area either!

During these times when I cry out to the Lord grieving over my sin of falling short as a wife, I always ask God the same question..."how long will it take me to become the perfect wife? I've been working so hard at it for 25 years! When will I stop missing the mark! And His answer is always the same..."when you see my face...then you will be PERFECT!"

At these times I have to be very careful that my grieving does not turn into a PITY PARTY! When you find yourself in a PITY PARTY you know you are responding in "Worldly Sorrow" and not "Godly Sorrow"!

"Worldly Sorrow" brings a PITY PARTY, it says,"poor me I am so bad there is no hope for me so I just won't even try, or it shifts the blame to God or someone else, because it is motivated by selfish PRIDE!

In contrast, "Godly Sorrow" humbles it's self and accepts the blame and is broken before God, then it looks to and depends on God to do what only He can do in our lives. "Godly sorrow" produces the Godly fruit of repentance and change because it is a selfless motivation of obedience to God and the good of others! So lets be careful that we are responding with "Godly Sorrow" whenever we are rebuked!

What should you do when the Lord shows you a "Blind Spot" in your life? First we respond with Godly sorrow and humble ourselves, ask for God's forgiveness, cleansing and power to change. It is also a good idea if your Blind Spot has to do with another person, that you go to that person and make it right. You may be thinking...even if it's my husband? ESPECIALLY IF IT"S YOUR HUSBAND!

You need to humble yourself and apologize to him and tell him the areas you are going to work on so he knows that you are aware of these areas and are trying to change them. This is also a good time to ask him if there are any other areas that you need to change. This is so important that he knows your heart and that you are trying to make changes for his benefit, and that you want to please him and keep him first in your life. This will go a long way toward increasing a sweet and tender love relationship together!

I am always amazed at the great JOY that fills my heart after I have humbled myself , grieved over my sin and experienced God's deep cleansing! The Lord then gives us such a sense of HOPE for the future and peace...GREAT DEEP PEACE!

Thank you Lord, for loving me so much and always being willing to forgive, cleanse, restore and faithfully showing me my

BLIND SPOTS!

Much Love in Him,

In Loving Memory

2012-01-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

Isaac Ergish 1-17-2012,

resting in the arms of Jesus

Dear Ones,

Please pray for Mike and Amy Ergish and their family. After many months of complications Amy had an emergency c-section and her little Isaac went on ahead of his Mommy and Daddy to be with our Lord Jesus.

The Ergish family are very dear friends of our family. Amy and I became very close like sisters when we lived on the same street during the years our husbands went through bible college. We belonged to a group of ladies affectionately known as "Bible College Widows".

These were the wives whose husbands were working so hard to try to get through years of college and prepare for the ministry. These women were so proud of their husband's sacrifices for the Lord and His work.

Because we rarely saw our husbands ( when they were home they needed to study) we ladies grew very close to each other, trying to encourage each other to endure some of the very fiery trials that can occur when we needed to be both mommy and daddy to our families. Through these years of great loneliness and difficulty, we learned what it means to have an intense prayer life and to cry out to God moment by moment for His grace to endure and to have victory.

Looking back I can see so much of the dross in my life that needed to be burnt off through those fiery trials and I am so thankful that the hand of our loving potter was always in control and never allowed more than we could bare with his grace. In His great love and mercy He was preparing us for greater trials ahead...the greater the trial...the greater the amount of glory He receives when we respond correctly.

As I was remembering these years spent with my dear friends Amy, Addie, Deana, Tammy, Cindy, Denise, and so many other dear sister's in Christ, I was reminded of the great privilege it was to spend them with these Godly ladies and I wouldn't trade all the tears and prayers and tears and laughter and tears...and tears...it all seemed so hard at the time, but our hearts strings were tied so close that we have a bond of love that can never be broken...I love you and miss you all!

As I wept for my dear sister Amy and the loss of her precious little Isaac, all the emotions from the loss of my little Timmy came flooding back to my heart. By God's grace and just being so busy this year, I have kept these emotions at bay for a number of months now but when I heard the news it all came back in such a powerful way that I was actually shocked at the intensity of grief in my heart. It's as if my grief has been doubled with the grief of my dear friend. I believe in a small degree that must be close to what our Savior experiences when He grieves with us and actually feels our pain...we are not alone...He is there in the depth of our heart ache...His heart is aching too!

As I was grieving for my friend, my heart ached knowing what she has and will be experiencing during this time of loss. Memories came back as if it was just moments ago when I had to do what I consider to be 3 of the 5 hardest things in my life. The first was when the nurse had to finally take the baby from my arms, knowing I would never see or hold him again. The second was leaving the hospital empty handed after just giving birth and walking through our front door without a baby in my arms. And the third was enduring all those months of raging after birth hormones which are only calmed and comforted by holding your baby, but this time...there was no baby. Once again all these painful experiences draw us closer to the Lord Jesus as He suffers with us we experience His great love and He eases our pain and even gives us peace and joy.

As I was crying out to the Lord for my friend and all mothers who have lost or are losing their baby, He reminded me of the great honor and privilege of motherhood. To have been given the ability to nurture and bring forth an eternal soul to the glory of God, this is a women's one chance to be involved in a miracle. Oh, that all mothers would see and comprehend that great and noble honor, above all honors this world could give...there is no honor greater...and it is only given to mothers!

But with every great honor comes the possibility of great pain, you can not have one without the other. Why is it a great honor to be a solider...because he is willing to risk the great pain that could be involved. Why is it a great honor to be a civil servant...because he is willing to risk the great pain that could be involved. With great honor...comes the possibility of great pain...that's what makes the honor great!

It is truly a great honor to be a mother and whether your baby is in your arms or or in heaven, you are still a mother. A mother's heart is a beautiful thing, it's capacity to love it's child and willingness to sacrifice all even to lay down it's own life is the most powerful form of unconditional love. And when that mother's heart is separated from her child and must endure this life without him, only the love of Christ can sustain her, and even then in the secret depths of her heart there will always be that ache and longing that never goes away, and is only ended in heaven, when she is reunited with that best and most beautiful part of herself...her precious child.

Much Love in Him,

Child Training...The Parents Attitude

2012-01-12T18:32:00.000-08:00

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Dear Ones,

I am finally back to the Child Training series. Part 5 is almost ready but first we need to be reminded of the foundation...obedience training with the right parental heart attitude.

In the last 6 years, we have done a lot of travelling from church to church in the U.S., as Missionaries on deputation. We have been asked a lot of questions, but I think the question most frequently asked is, "how do you teach your children to obey so well"?

First of all, let me tell you in advance, that our children are a great blessing to us, but they are human, they are a work in process, and they still have a long way to go. But, God's ways always work, and if we follow His plan, by God's grace, our children will be the blessings to us and others that they were meant to be!

Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I call this The "Train Up" Principle. Train our children NOW in the way that will cause them to be what they should be when they are old. Don't wait till your son is 18, to train him to be what he should be at 18, start as soon as possible, training him to be what he should be, so that when he is 18, his training is second nature to him... it is a part of who he is!

Training is really "the forming of a habit". Habits are incredibly powerful things. It has been said that if you do something consistently for 2 weeks, you will have formed a habit. And habits, good or bad, are hard to break! Unfortunately, the bad habits are always harder to break than the good ones! Habits done consistently over many, many years, actually become a part of who we are.

With all this in mind, our job in training our children, is to teach them and require of them to form the right habits in any given situation, and not to allow them to form bad habits in any given situation. Who decides what is good or bad? God himself, and He has described what is good or bad in detail in His word, which is another very important reason we mothers must be studying God's word ourselves to see what He has to say!

There are many different things that children need to be trained to do, but it's best to start with obedience training, because without it, it's difficult to train a child to do anything else! For example, it is very difficult for a teacher in school to teach her students much of anything if they will not obey her. If they will not sit quietly and listen and do what she says, the way she says to do it, they can not learn what she is trying to teach them. Thus, OBEDIENCE is the foundation to learning everything else.

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians 3:20

We have found that for most parents, the missing ingredient in their "Child Training", is the actual step of "Training".

A lot of frustration occurs in the parent child relationship because the parent expects the child to do something that the child has never been trained to do. The parent just assumes that somehow the child should already know what they mean and how to do it. Never assume your child already knows how to do something that you have not thoroughly trained them to do yourself.

Remember, the verse says to " TRAIN" up a child.

To Train means: 1: to direct the growth of (a plant) usually by bending, pruning, and tying

3 : to form by instruction, discipline, or drill, so as to make fit, qualified, or proficient

4: to make prepared (as by exercise) for a test of skill

In a nutshell, in the context of child training, "to train" means: To condition for a certain response in a certain situation BEFORE the situation occurs. So that when the situation does occur, they will already be conditioned through constant practice or repetition to respond correctly.

As parents, we must remember that our ATTITUDE when we are Training our children is very important! If we yell or have an angry tone, they will be trained to obey only when we yell or have an angry tone! Do you want to have to yell and get angry to get them to obey? If you don't, then don't train them that way! Train them with a sweet soft voice and a kind smile and they will learn to obey a sweet soft voice and a kind smile!

REMEMBER...Anger is a SINFUL ATTITUDE we do not want to pass on to our children!

Our attitude is so important in all our interaction with our children! We want to convey a heart that is grateful to God for them! The goal is to build up our relationship with them, not tear it down.

A good principle to remember is: Rules without relationship bring REBELLION! Lots of rules must be balanced with a strong, loving, close relationship!

If you could hold a mirror in front of your face while your talking to your children all day long,(or your husband for that matter) what would you see?

Would the face in the mirror look like this? Is this what your family looks at all day long?

Remember...children will pick up our bad attitudes and mirror them back to us!

I know, your thinking,"I don't mean to look like that, I just never thought about it, and I get soooo busy!" Let me tell you, I understand busy!!! But for the sake of our child training efforts and our family, we must STOP responding in anger and allow God to cleanse our hearts of anger in all it's forms...frustration, impatience, harsh tones and angry faces etc.!

If you have a consistent problem with anger, remember that BITTERNESS is the root of ANGER.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15

In this verse to "fail of the grace of God", means to not accept God's grace in any given situation. God's grace gives us the power to accept a difficult situation and any suffering involved with the correct attitude and the power to FORGIVE anyone who has caused the situation.

When we do not accept God's grace...we do not have the power from God to FORGIVE! When we do not FORGIVE...A ROOT OF BITTERNESS SPRINGS UP IN OUR HEART and....MANY ARE DEFILED BY IT... including OUR CHILDREN!

Remember...Everything reproduces after its self! Your children are little sponges soaking it all in, all day, everyday! If you have anger problems...so will they!

Because your unforgiveness is the root of your anger problems, you must allow God to cleanse your heart of anger by helping you learn to forgive all those in your past, present and future. This is the only way to keep from passing this SINFUL ATTITUDE on to our children.

As Christian women one of our main goals should be to develop a "meek and quiet spirit".

... even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. 1 Peter 3:4-5

Anger and all its forms are the OPPOSITE of a "meek and quiet spirit".

After we have allowed God to cleanse our hearts of anger, we must start our own positive habits to help us have a consistent "meek and quiet spirit" in our relationships with our children.
Here are some positive habits we can form:

The first and most important habit is your personal devotions every morning, I have already said alot on this in the post here. Like everything else in our busy lives, if we don't plan what to do, and a time to do it, it won't get done! During our daily time with the Lord, we need to ask Him to search our hearts and show us any unforgiveness that may have occurred that day towards someone and with the power of God's grace forgive that person. Also, begin to pray for that person and God will fill your heart with love for them.

Second, our sweet little children need to know we love them, they need to see it in our faces, in our smile. You can get in the habit of smiling by purposing everyday to smile at your child FIRST before you speak to them. Then with a kind voice, you can proceed to instruct, or praise, or correct, and your instruction, praise, and correction will go alot further because of your GOOD ATTITUDE!

Third, your child needs loving physical touch, so to make sure you get it in everyday, you can plan to at least give them a warm hug first thing in the morning, another at lunch and another before they go to bed. I know your thinking," that seems too planned and mechanical", but at least it will get you in the habit and hopefully grow into more often. I think you would be surprised at how much time most Christian parents don't spend hugging and holding their children, and children need this affection much more than we realise!

Fourth, make sure to find ways to spend one on one time with each child. This can be very tricky with 11 children, especially when the 4 youngest are 6 and under. But, with a little creativity and planning, it can get done, and it means so much to our children!

Fifth, Praise, Praise, Praise! Praise them at every opportunity! Find something daily to praise them for! Think of how you respond to someone who gives you praise... it motivates you to want to do even better, to hear more praise! We all need praise and gratefulness for what we do.

Does your child have a void in his heart because of lack of praise and gratefulness by you for his efforts? Be careful, our enemy will quickly send someone else to praise him and STEAL HIS HEART FROM YOU!

Overall, we want to communicate to our children that we love them, and we LOVE spending our time with them!!!

An important side note: Don't underestimate the power of a smile! A warm, loving smile directed at a person says: "You are important to me," and I appreciate you and what you mean to me."

The lack of a smile forces people to focus on you and wonder what is wrong with you or what they have done to offend you. Thus, the lack of a smile communicates self-centeredness, which is the opposite of a grateful heart!

The bible states that " a merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." (Proverbs 17:22). This fact has been medically verified by researchers at the University of California.

They measured the chemical responses in people who simply mimicked a smile. To their amazement, they found that healthy hormones were secreted that strengthened the immune system.

When people in the test frowned, unhealthy hormones were produced, which weakened their immune systems.

Further studies have demonstrated that the thalamus gland of a person is strengthened when he sees someone who is smiling.

Another benefit is that smiles are contagious! What usually happens when you smile at someone...they smile back! You never know, your smile may be the only one that person has seen all day!

By God's grace, this is the expression we want our sweet little children (and our husbands) to look at everyday, one that says, you are important to me, you bring me joy, I LOVE YOU!!!

The power of a smile!

I have divided this post into two parts, if you need to return later to finish reading, this is a good place to stop. :)

________________________________________________________________________________
(Child Training continued)

Now, with a smile on our lips and a grateful heart to the Lord for our children, lets begin child training!

Lets go through the steps of training:

1) First, we INSTRUCT the child. We explain exactly what we want them to do and how we want them to do it.

2) Then, we SHOW them by our example, exactly what we mean, by doing it ourselves.

3) Then, we have THEM DO IT for us, to make sure they understand what we want them to do.

4) Now that they know what we want and can do it, we have them REPEAT IT over and over everyday(remember, this is the forming of a habit) until they have been TRAINED to do it exactly the way we want it done.

The amount of time needed to train depends on the child and their age. Usually the younger child takes a little longer, but the time is very well spent because the more time you spend now training, the less you have to spend later correcting! And the goal is to train as early as possible in a child's life. Remember, those habits we talked about... the longer a young child is allowed to indulge in a bad habit, the harder it will be later to break him of it!

I like to use the example of gardening. At the beginning of the season our goal is to grow a beautiful, healthy garden that is not only a blessing to us but to all who see it's beauty and are blessed by it's produce! But, the enemy of our goal are the WEEDS, who's seeds are already present in the soil. If we don't intervene and get rid of the weeds, our garden will be taken over and the good plants will be chocked out and destroyed!

Now, if we start at the beginning of the season, and pull the tiny weeds when they FIRST POP UP, they are SO MUCH EASIER TO PULL! Have you ever done this in a garden? It's just a simple, pluck pluck, it's almost fun! But...if we get too busy to pull these tiny weeds and we allow them to TAKE ROOT, then they are MUCH HARDER to pull! In fact, it can be VERY DIFFICULT to remove all the roots that are deep in the ground! You may even have to dig very deep to remove those roots, and now the whole process has become painful for you and the plants!

This is exactly like child training... if we start as soon as possible pulling those "weeds" of bad habits, as soon as they pop up, they will be much easier to remove. But... if we wait till the "weeds" of bad habits take root, then they are much harder and painful to remove!

5) When the child is TRAINED in something, from this point forward you should be able to ask him at any time to do it and he should do it exactly as he was trained to, with a good attitude.The way he was trained to do something is now the STANDARD.

Don't get discouraged, even the most diligently trained child will seem to regress and "act up", from time to time. He is simply testing to see if you are serious about your commitment to train him. If you remain consistent in your loving attitude and your training, he will soon be back to his sweet self!

I have heard it said,"there are no strong willed children, just weak willed parents". I believe there is a lot of truth in this and yet from experience, I know that some children are wired stronger and are more labor intensive to train. It is then crucial that we determine to have a stronger will than they do!

Now lets apply the steps of training to a real situation.

Lets say little Tommy needs to learn to come when he is called. So, first we take him in a room and explain that when Mommy calls him he needs to stop what he's doing right away and come straight to Mommy and say,"yes Ma'am".

Then you give him an example by doing it yourself. You pretend you are him sitting on the floor playing and you hear Mommy call so you put your toys down immediately and go to where the pretend Mommy is and you say,"yes Ma'am".

Now you have him do it. And once he understands what to do, you send him back in the other room to play and you call him again. He stops playing and immediately comes to you and says "yes Ma'am". You have him repeat this over and over, always praising him with a big smile when he does it correctly.

This is TRAINING. Remember, Training is to condition a certain response to a certain situation before the situation occurs.

Now, at different times of the day when he is doing different activities you call him to come to you and you repeat it over and over until he does it perfectly every time you call him. Practice everyday for a week or two (depending upon his age) and he will be trained to come to you immediately when you call with a smile and a yes Ma'am.

Remember, all Training should be done with a joyful attitude on your part and a big smile. This can really be a lot of fun. We call it the "obedience game" and the children always look forward to it! We would plan an hour a day in our scheduling for the "obedience game". (I will explain in detail how to start a daily schedule in future posts). You can take this principle of training and apply it to every area that your child needs to learn obedience.

Eventually, your child should be trained to obey immediately...delayed obedience is DISOBEDIENCE.

If trained correctly with the right attitude the child will obey immediately and do exactly what he was trained to do the way he was trained to do it.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5

Clearly God's design was for children to be a blessing. And if they are not, it is because the parents have not trained them or did not train them correctly. While the process is not difficult if we start early, it still takes time and energy and we must be consistent over many years to see the desired result. Sometimes, we can get tired and weary and be tempted to ease up or quit, but if we keep our eyes on the goal, with God's grace we can finish the task!

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

We don't want to get to the end of our child rearing years and have no good fruit, like the garden that was not tended to properly, who's plants are choked out and all grown over with weeds and whose produce is small and week. We want to have strong healthy fruit that God can use!

Remember the "Train Up" principle: Don't wait! Train them when they are little to be what they should be when they are old!

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Much Love in Him,

OPERATION ORGANIZATION strikes again!

2012-01-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones,

Well, it's that time of year again! Time to do our DEEP CLEANING, THINNING OUT and ORGANIZING the house! Every Jan. we go through OPERATION ORGANIZATION, where we go through every room and closet and drawer in our home and get rid of as much as possible and then deep clean every inch!

Yes, it can be difficult to make yourself do this but the end product is so wonderful! Such a great feeling to know what you have and exactly where it is located! And it is so much easier for you and your little ones to keep the house in order when there is a place for everything and everything is in it's place! :)

We usually do this on a smaller scale each month throughout the year to keep the clutter down, but with all the trials this year that have kept Mommy very distracted, our garage turned into a dumping ground and has become a DISASTER!!! :( So I am so excited to have this time set aside to attack it!

We start upstairs in the bedrooms and do that entire area first, then the main living level, then the basement and finally the garage and yard. This process can take 3 to 6 weeks to accomplish but is well worth the time and work!

We started last week and worked very hard from early in the morning till very late at night all week and I am so excited to say that all the bedrooms and everything on that floor was done in one week! This is a record, usually it takes 2 weeks for this floor to be completed! :) Especially considering that we had some sick ones last week as well!

Many mothers have asked me, "why is it every time I determine to start an important project the kids get sick? Well, I can tell you the very same thing happens to me! As soon as we get everything ready and I have everyone motivated to start a big project...someone gets sick...which usually means eventually everyone is sick!

So what have I learned all these years when my great plans have been interrupted by sickness? That the Lord's plan is not just to help us accomplish the projects that He leads us to do but also to use the PROCESS to TEACH US and CHANGE US!

What can we learn when family sickness interrupts our plans and schedules? We can learn a greater level of PATIENCE as we SURRENDER to His timetable and FLEXIBILITY as we choose to sweetly change our own plans to accommodate His plan. And GRATEFULNESS as we are THANKFUL for all things that He allows in our lives. We can learn to ABIDE IN HIM as we lean on Him to keep us from getting frustrated and discouraged. We can learn to TRUST Him as we choose to BELIEVE His word that tells us that HIS WAY IS PERFECT!

If we choose to respond correctly to the interruptions the Lord allows in our lives we can grow in all these character qualities which will lead us to develop a MEEK AND QUITE SPIRIT.

...the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves...
1 Peter 3:4-5

As this verse tells us, a meek and quiet spirit is VERY VALUABLE and should be one of our goals as Christian women. So...next time your plans are interrupted see it as one step closer to that goal! :)

When we did this process of deep cleaning last year, I received many questions about our method to accomplish it, so I am reposting part of the post from last year to explain exactly how we get our entire home thinned out, organized and deep cleaned so we know everything we have and where it is located, I pray it is a blessing to all! :)

First, I pick a place to start in, usually a closet in a bedroom. I take everything out of the closet, clean it and only put back in what I decide we want to keep and have room for. Everything else goes into one of three trash bags. One bag is for trash or things that need to be thrown away. The second bag is for things that we can no longer use or don't have the space for and need to be given away, sold at a garage sale or taken to Goodwill. And the last bag is for things we want to keep but that need to be stored away.

When I am completely done with each room, I take the first bag of trash to the trash. The second bag I go through and decide what to give away to friends and other family members and put them in separate Walmart bags that are labelled with their names. Anything left from the second bag I send to Goodwill.

And finally, the third bag is filled with things we want to keep but need to be stored. I want to store them in categories of similar interest so I put them in piles. Then I store them in those waterproof crates with lids you can purchase at Walmart or Target.

I use two 3 by 5 filling cards for each crate and write down everything in the crate on both cards, then assign both cards with the same number. I tape one card to the outside of the crate and on the other card, I write where the crate will be stored and put that card in my file box in numerical order.

So, later when I'm looking for something that has been stored away, I can simply look through my file of 3 by 5 cards, find the card with the item I am looking for listed on it and it will tell me what number the crate is labelled that it is in and where that crate is stored. Then I can go to that area and find the crate that is labelled with the same number as the filling card and open it and there is what I am looking for! I could also put the information that is on the filling cards in a file on my computer.

This system solves the problem of storing things away but not remembering where they are stored. Or having to dig through many storage crates to try to find something you are looking for. It has been such a help so many times when I needed something in a hurry that was packed away!

This process of thinning out and deep cleaning will probably take me about 3 to 6 weeks. If you would like to try this system but don't have that much time to spend right now, you could try the "30 min. a day thin out". This is the same process but you set the timer for 30 min. and when the timer goes off you are done for the day. Amazingly, you can get a lot done in just 30 min. everyday! I have done it this way and in about 4 to 8 weeks, I was able to get my whole house done! :)

What a great feeling it is to know EXACTLY where everything is! And it is much easier for you and your helpers to keep the house in order when you know where everything goes! Having an organized house is an important part of having an organized life, which will help bring more peace and free up more time to truly enjoy your family!

Time for OPERATION ORGANIZATION!!!

Much Love in Him,

LASTING CHANGE...or Failed New Years Resolutions?

2011-12-31T23:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones,

My prayer this Christmas was that you all had a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas with your loved ones!

Even though my mother's brother passed away 4 days before Christmas, and that our hearts were grieving, the power of the grace of God sustained us and the thought that my dear Uncle was now with our Savior in glory never to suffer again, gave us great joy and put Christmas in a new light! With all the deaths of close family members we have endured this year, we are more thankful than ever before that Jesus was born to save us from our sins!

With Christmas past we move on to the New Year! And with New Years comes... New Years Resolutions!

Have you ever stopped to think about why most people make New Years resolutions? Usually it is in an attempt to make a change in their lives for the better! This is a good thing, but considering that most New Years resolutions NEVER LAST...maybe as Christians we should consider HOW to make LASTING CHANGES in our lives!

Whenever I have sought the Lord for lasting change in my life, He reminded me that we can not change ourselves, only the power of the Holy Spirit can make changes that last! We must seek the Lord to know what changes He thinks need to be made and remember that the Holy Spirit will never lead us where the Word of God forbids us! God will not lead us to do something that He has already told us not to do in His word! Many times Christians will say they feel like God wants them to do something that He has already said not to do in the Bible...God does not change His mind, His Word is TRUTH and TRUTH does not change... it is ETERNAL!

So at the beginning of each year I spend time praying about my life and my families and ask the Lord to show me what changes He wants to make in every area of our lives. Because we are all sinners, we all can have BLIND SPOTS! Continually I am seeking the Lord to show me my blind spots so I can be changed and He can use my life more for His glory!

This is a great time to think and pray about all we do as Christian wives and mothers and to make sure it is all based on TRUTH...the BIBLE!

Have you ever done this? Do you have a scripture or a scriptural principal to back everything you do? Or are you just doing what you do because someone else is doing it? Or because it sounds like a good idea to you and just feels good? If these or other wrong motivations are the reasons you do what you do, I must CAUTION you...your life may not be built on God's Word and in the end will not bring forth God's LASTING FRUIT!

We must first make sure that our priorities are in the correct biblical order.
1) Our relationship with the Lord Jesus.
2) Our relationship with our spouse.
3) Our relationships with each of our children.
4) Our relationships with our church family.
5) Our relationships with our extended family.
6) Our relationship with all others we are ministering and witnessing to as the Lord leads.

As we spend time praying over each of these relationships, we need to ask the Lord to show us any changes that need to be made. Then we need to seek the Lord and study the scriptures to see just how we are to make those changes and what scriptures would apply to the changes He wants us to make. Study is the key here, many Christians are making important life decisions based on scriptures that have been taken out of the context that they were meant for, or are misinterpreted. This is very dangerous, you do not want your life to go down the wrong path and find out years later when it is too late that your life and your children's was built on ERROR!

Then, we must commit these changes to regular daily prayer and times of prayer and fasting. As I have mentioned before, fasting one day a week and having set aside times through out that day to pray has brought the most lasting changes in my life.

This whole process of seeking the Lord for what changes He wants made, can be a long process if you have a large family. I usually have to spend most of January praying about each child in depth to see what changes need to be made in their spiritual life, their character, child training, social life, school schedule, chore schedule etc. These changes become our new goals for the coming year. I also spend time praying with each child (that is old enough to pray) about these issues each week through out the new year. You may be thinking...this could turn into a huge ordeal! Yes, it does but what is more important to spend our time on as a wife and mother than making sure that those God has entrusted to us to train for Him are progressing in the way God is showing you to lead them?

Maybe you are not sure how or which way to lead your children because you have never sought the Lord and His word with prayer to find out? I must CAUTION you, that is like the blind leading the blind...you never know where you will end up, but it is usually not a good place and definitely not God's BEST!

God will not get the glory from your life and your children's that He should have! And as Christians, why are we here? TO BRING GLORY TO GOD! We do this by allowing Him to make the changes in our lives He wants to make so that our lives line up with the scriptures. The more our lives line up with the scriptures, the more He can use us and bring more glory to Himself. But this takes SURRENDER! Our hearts must be willing to surrender to the changes He wants to make.

So as mothers we must ask ourselves... how are we raising our children? How are we training our children? How are we educating our children etc.? Are we doing all these things based on how God says to do them in His word? If not, then years from now you will not receive the promises from God's word! This applies to all areas of our lives, but take this promise for example:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Do you see the promise in that verse? If you train up your child in the way they should go...then when he is old, he will continue in the way he should go! You will have LASTING GODLY FRUIT FROM THAT CHILD WHICH BRINGS GREAT GLORY TO GOD AND IS THE GOAL AS A PARENT! But... "the way he should go", is God's way and the instruction on how to train him that way is only found in God's word!

Dear Mother... YOU MUST STUDY GOD"S WORD TO BE ABLE TO CORRECTLY LEAD YOUR CHILDREN! Yes, you can and should learn as much as possible from older Godly women who have already lived these things out and have the fruit of proof in their lives and their children's, it is biblical for the older women to teach the younger but you must also study to know the scriptures YOURSELF!

So, this New Year as I seek the Lord in prayer and examine all the areas of my life and my children's, I encourage you to do the same and to ask the Lord what changes He wants to make and for the grace to surrender to His will in these areas! If we do it God's way we can expect LASTING CHANGES this year instead of another year of FAILED NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

May the Lord bless you with a fruitful New Year that brings GREAT GLORY TO HIM!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Much Love in Him,

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones,

Merry Christmas! I hope you are all having a wonderful, blessed Christmas with your loved ones! The Lord greatly blessed our family this year with plenty of food, gifts and great JOY! We are so grateful for His great Faithfulness to us!

I am posting this from last years Christmas, hope it is a blessing to all!

I have received requests for ideas of family traditions that help children keep their focus on Jesus. So, I thought I would share some of our family traditions. Some are Christ centered, and some are just for fun!

Every year in Oct., we put our history curriculum aside and do an in depth study on the pilgrims one year and the bible account of the birth of Christ the next year. So every other year we study all the events leading up to and including Jesus birth. Because we spend a lot of time each week on this subject, it keeps the children's minds on the true bible account of the nativity. This also helps them understand what we are celebrating and why.

I thought it would be great to have a sturdy plastic nativity set that even the little children could play with and Little People Toys had a perfect little set! This set is only brought out at Christmas time and the children love to play with it and act out the bible verses that they have been studying in hoomeschool.

We also work on our Nativity play that we have on Christmas Day. We memorize the scriptures we have been studying and make costumes and practice until all the little ones have it down. This is always so adorable and fun and they look forward to it all year!

About a week before Christmas, I start making the children's gingerbread houses that they decorate on Christmas Eve.

After I roll out the dough, I cut all the pieces for the houses then bake them.

When the pieces are cool, I assemble them with frosting

It helps to use cans to hold up the sides while you wait for the frosting to dry.

All the houses are ready to decorate!

Every year, right after breakfast, on the morning of Christmas Eve, all the children put on their Christmas pajamas, which we wear all day on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This tradition started when our oldest, Ally, was one and her Daddy asked me to make the three of us matching pajamas we could all wear, and we've been wearing them every year ever since!

After everyone is dressed in their pajamas, the children spend all morning and afternoon decorating their gingerbread houses. This is always so much fun!

Little Zachy gets help from his big sis.

Isabella's house.

Emmaline's cottage.

Adelaide in deep concentration!

Priscilla, in the middle, keeps eating all the decorations!

Jon, our baby lover, holding Ben and Zach.

We have quite the gingerbread village now!

Later that evening, we have Christmas dinner. My husband is Cuban and we all love Cuban food, so we look forward to the traditional Cuban Christmas meal of black beans and rice complete with a pig roast!

This is the outdoor tent to cover the box that the pig roasts in. My husband tends the pig roast for hours until it is perfectly brown and ready to eat, delicious!

Another traditional food for our Christmas dinner, are the yummy cream puffs and cannoli.

Priscilla loving her cream puffs!

In the evening, at family devotions, Daddy reads the last chapter of a Christmas devotional book that has become a family favorite! We highly recommend "Jotham's Journey" for family devotions at Christmas time!

Daddy reads a chapter every night for about 4 weeks leading up to Christmas. This is a great fiction built around the actual events of the nativity.

It is also an exciting adventure that keeps the children's attention and anticipation! Everyday they look forward to hearing what will happen next, while at the same time learning much about the customs and time period of the actual birth of our Savior.

It also includes and explains the biblical plan of salvation. At the end of each chapter is a short section to help apply the lessons learned by the characters to our own lives and a reminder of the real meaning of Christmas!

After Daddy finishes reading, we all pray, then it's one of the children's turn to put a nativity character on our calendar.

Then, finally on Christmas day the baby Jesus is put in His crib! This is very exciting for the little ones!

After devotions on Christmas Eve, the children play a board game while Mommy gets the Christmas Eve tea party ready!

After serving and drinking all the tea and eating the special tea treats, we go around the circle and each one tells what they like most about the person sitting next to them. This is always such a sweet, sentimental time when we focus on how much we love each other and thank God for giving us each other!

Then we pray and thank God for each family member and for sending us the gift of His son, the baby Jesus on Christmas! We finish by singing our favorite carols ending with silent night. Then, off to bed and on this night the children love to all camp out on the floor of the boys room!

Good night!

Just a few hours and all will be running in our room to jump on our bed and wake us up! Then drag us down stairs to open presents! :)

Merry Christmas!

Mommy helping Priscilla open her presents.

Nick's dog "sugar" is excited about her special doggy treat Nick bought her!

Later we have a birthday party for Jesus, complete with a special cake!

This cake is round, like the world, which symbolizes that Jesus died for the whole world. It has 3 layers. The first layer is chocolate. The dark color stands for our sins. The next layer is red, which stands for the blood of Christ, that He shed for our sins. The top layer is white, which stands for our hearts when we accept Christ as our Savior and His blood washes our sins away and makes our hearts white as snow. We use white, cream cheese icing with crushed candy canes stirred in to ice the cake and give it a wonderful Christmas flavor! The white icing also stands for Jesus purity.

We have one candle on the cake and after we light it and sing "Happy Birthday", each one of us takes our own little candle and lights it from the big candle on the cake, then we put our lit candles in the cake around the big candle in a circle. The big candle stands for Jesus light and the circle of little candles, stand for each of us letting His light shine through us and our commitment to live our life for Him! This is a very good visual way to help children remember that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus birthday! And a great way to teach them about Salvation through Jesus Christ!

Of all our traditions, this is the one my little ones always remember to tell me every year... "Mommy, don't forget Jesus birthday cake!" :)

We spend the rest of the day playing with the children and their new toys and just relaxing together!

Jon, Ally, Nick and Daddy playing a board game.

These are some of our family traditions at Christmas. I hope you enjoyed seeing them as much as we did doing them! We all had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ! And we made special memories that will last a lifetime!

Thank you God, for sending baby Jesus...thank you, for CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Much Love in Him,

O LOVE That Will Not Let Me Go...

2011-12-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones,

Thank you all for your prayers in the past, could you please pray for my mother, her family and myself. My mother's dear sister has gone to be with the Lord just yesterday. She had accepted Christ as her Savior and is in heaven now with Him, which gives us great joy, but we do love her and miss her very much. This is the third funeral of a family member that we have experienced since my dear sister's death just 3 months ago. Each death and funeral so close to my sister's is like reliving the pain of hers and is making it more difficult to heal.

I had a very difficult night last night... but joy cometh in the morning! This post is a tribute to the amazing power of the love and grace of God.

As I was in prayer with the Lord this morning sharing my pain and grief, He filled my heart with so much love and reminded me of His great love for me, a love so great it can not be comprehended. He reminded me of my past, that in the midst of the deepest pain and the darkest night...HE IS THERE! Nomatter how many tears or how unbearable it may seem...HE IS THERE! Right there with us and He sees every tear and feels every pain. And His great LOVE and GRACE are more powerful than any circumstance this life can bring! Through His LOVE and Grace, He gives us the power to be OVERCOMERS! An overcomer is one who lives above their circumstanes, on a different plane...a heavenly plane.

With the power of the love of Jesus and by His grace we can be OVERCOMERS!

To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne. Revelation 3:21

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe, That in Thine ocean depths its flow, May richer, fuller be.

O joy that seekest me thru pain, I yeild my flickering torch to Thee;

I trace the rainbow thru the rain, And feel the promise is not vain, That morn shall tearless be.

Dear Lord Jesus...Thank you for a love that never lets me go... for loving me more than anyone ever has or ever will...you hold my heart captive in your hands...your will be done!

Much Love in Him,

Tis The Season...

2011-12-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

...To Be Jolly?

Jolly: cheerfully festive or convivial: joyous; happy:

Christmas is a jolly or joyous season.

Dear Ones,

As we are entering this Christmas season...are you JOYOUS?

I have to admit, this year there have been some days that have been harder for me to have a consistent joyous attitude. As my mother and I are working through the symptoms of mourning the loss of my dear sister, we have found that we are experiencing some of the same difficulties. We are both having difficulty focusing on whatever we are trying to accomplish at the time. While I have great peace because my sister is with the Lord Jesus, I still spend much of my time distracted by a longing or ache in my heart from missing her. This has made it difficult at times to tune into what is going on around me, and to accomplish the long list of things that we usually need to get done for the Christmas season. This was my sister's favorite time of year so everything we do for Christmas brings back so many memories, which only adds to my distraction.

From my past experience of losing my dear brother, I know that these difficulties are part of mourning and that they will ease with time. As I was sharing all this with the Lord in prayer, He reminded me of a truth He has taught me many times...that a joyous heart is the fruit of the decision to be thankful no matter what your circumstances are...JOY IS A DECISION!

Are you going through a circumstance that you are allowing to steal your joy this Christmas season?By the grace of God we can make the decision to be grateful in any circumstance. But you can not choose to be grateful, if you have not already made the decision to TRUST that whatever God allows in our lives is for our good...to conform us into the image of His son.

For all those who have asked when is the next post of the marriage series and child training series, I plan on continuing those after the holidays in Jan. So sorry for the delay, but as I said above, my difficulty with focusing and concentrating, has made it hard to write lately, but hopefully by Jan. those posts will be done! I have also been asked by many to share more trash to treasure decorating ideas! And to share more details of how I lost all my pregnancy weight. I was so excited to hear that so many of you were motivated by that post to also make the same commitment to try to get back to your wedding weight for your husbands! This is very exciting...please keep me updated with your progress in your emails...I am praying for your success! :)

I thought I would update you all on what we have been doing... we have spent most of November getting ready for Christmas! We have to start early to get all our decorating, baking and making presents done by Dec. 25th!

We love to make homemade gifts to give our family and friends. Speaking of joy...pouring our hearts and our time into making things by hand brings us much joy! There is so much love in a hand made gift because in order to make them we have to give one of our most valuable possessions...our TIME!
So we try to only give gifts that are handmade when ever possible. This means we have to plan our gifts months ahead to have time to get them all done! The children love to plan what gifts to make for each person and spending the Christmas season making the gifts helps keep their minds focused on others which adds to the joy of the season! It is more blessed to give than to receive...this becomes a reality in their hearts and minds!

One of our favorite things to make and give is a basketful of homemade Christmas treats! Here are some we did last year.

These baskets full of homemade Christmas treats are full of so much love! We have so much fun making them! You can try them too and they donot have to cost a lot of money! We start a few months ahead of time saving all our plastic containers with lids like coolwhip containers etc. to use to put the different homemade baked goods in and then we decorate each container to look bright and festive!

We start with a basket or other large containers that we collect through the year. You can paint it or whatever you like! Then we put in some stuffing...in the basket above, we used tree garland to add sparkle!

Then a bow and gingerbread man to decorate the basket.

Then we arrange all the containers of goodies to fit in the basket.

A side view.

Here are some of the individual containers...we put labels on each one. This was a small box decorated in Christmas wrap with home made peanut butter truffles in it!

Mocha Truffles... yummy!

This was a large coffee can used to hold some of the gourmet popcorn we make...chocolate candy cane popcorn!

This is a loaf of homemade Christmas bread!

In this large cool whip container we put gourmet cookies...chocolate, chocolate chip and peanut butter!

We made this little box then covered it with Christmas wrap attached with spray glue. It contained a homemade cheese ball!

We also included some sort of drink like homemade cocoa mix, cider mix or Christmas tea and some cute mugs!

Then we wrapped it all up in festive red cellophane paper and ribbons! Your imagination is the only limit with these! And think of all the money you would save...these baskets would cost a fortune to have made up in a store! :)

Some pics of our baking adventures! :) Here we are making cinnamon popcorn balls!

Here we are making sugar cookies!

Last week the ladies group from our church had a day out together! First we toured Vaille Mansion, it is a beautiful old Mansion decorated up in Victorian Christmas decorations!

This is the side view, somehow we missed getting a picture of the very regal front view of the entrance.

My sweet Ally and I loved this house! We were swept off our feet as we envisioned Victorian ladies in their beautiful Christmas dresses going about their domestic duties and adorable little children playing old fashioned games by the fire...so beautiful and romantic! :)

Gorgeous wood work on those front doors!

One of the reasons I love old architecture so much is because even the smallest details were so beautiful and intricate. The thought that someone long ago poured so much time and effort into making their creation so beautiful...just thinking about it gives me joy and inspires me to try to do the same in every area of my life! :)

LOVE that staircase!!!

I LOVE the beautiful lace dresses ladies wore back then!

Love this fireplace in the kitchen...so cozy and homey! :)

Beautiful dress!

What a beautiful mansion...it reminded me of those beautiful old homes in the old fashioned romance movies I love!!! I love those movies because they are filled with so much beauty... the old architecture, the stunning landscapes, the beautiful classical music soundtracks, the characters in lovely old fashioned clothing, the chivalry and manners and of course the beautiful love stories that unfold. All these things bring so much joy to my heart and motivate me to try to bring the same beauty into my own life and the lives of all those I love.

After the very inspiring tour... we all had lunch at Cracker Barrel Restaurant...yummy!!! :)

What a wonderful day of fellowship with my dear friends I love so much...you all are such a blessing to my heart!!!

Well, just a little update of what we have been doing this Christmas season. For more on what we do at Christmas and why, you can read Christmas Traditions.

My hearts prayer is that we may all experience the joy of Christmas this season and all year as we draw close to our Savior and make the choice to be grateful no matter what our circumstances! :)

...that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. John 15:11

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Much Love in Him,

God's Provision...A "Baby Tea"!

2011-09-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

Thank you all again for all the beautiful and loving comments, emails, cards and phone calls given in sympathy for the loss of my sister Lora. The Lord has faithfully sent just the right one at the perfect time when I needed comfort.

As each day passes, it is more and more amazing how I'm seeing my sister's touch and influence in every part of my life! It has always been there but I guess I did not realize it until now. Now every little thing that has her touch on it just seems to jump out at me. It is harder each day that I can not tell her all the little things that I usually would, and the reality is setting in that I will never be able to in this life. But once again, that helps me keep my mind on heavenly things where she is and where I will be very soon. So in that way, she is still helping me spiritually everyday!

Many months ago, the Lord laid it on my heart to give a baby shower to a dear friend of mine who was expecting her 4th baby. Whenever someone steps out in faith and trusts the Lord to bless them with another baby, I always try to encourage and support them in anyway I can. I know what it is to be alone in your convictions and not receive encouragement from anyone but the Lord, and of course He is enough, but I love to encourage these ladies!

When I told my sister Lora about this shower many months ago, she was so excited too and of course we both immediately saw this as an opportunity to have a tea party! You may remember from the post I did on her life, that she and I have LOVED tea parties ever since we were little and are always finding an excuse to have one! :) So, we decided this shower would be a Mother Daughter Tea Party with a baby shower theme. :) So we called it a "Baby Tea"! When ever my sister had a difficult day with pain or emotions she would call and say, come over and see me (we live right next door) and we will discuss the tea party! We spent a lot of time talking and planning the different ideas we had for food and decorations etc. I think it gave her something to think about and look forward to and helped get her mind off of what she was experiencing for awhile.

You may be thinking...how much time can you spend talking about a little tea party- baby shower? Well...you don't understand how my sister and I are wired! We love life and see each event as an opportunity to express our hearts and live it to the fullest! She and I are always teasing that we were born 100 years too late, because we love the Victorian era! We both live in an imaginary romantic Victorian dreamland in our minds! :) Yes, we are a little eccentric! Everything in our dreamland is so beautiful and romantic, dripping with lace and pink roses, we have a slight obsession with pink roses, :) and actually anything pink! I think the reason we love the Victorian era, is because women were so feminine in their beautiful lace dresses and men were real men and the family and motherhood was so exalted and cherished by all. Women poured their hearts into their families and tried to make everything they touched beautiful for those they loved. There was also such a distinction between the genders in dress and responsibilities, which lines up with the will of God in His word! God speaks very clearly in His word (the bible) that there should be a clear distinction between the genders in every area of life...but that is for another post! :)

Anyway, we are always teasing our family and friends about our romantic Victorian dreamland we live in mentally, and how much they would love it there, and how they should come and visit us there sometime! :) So we are always excited when we have an opportunity to recreate our romantic dreamland in real life, and that's how we decided that this Baby Tea would have a Victorian Baby theme for the decorating! My sister and I were so much alike, we loved all the same things, even the backround music for my blog is both our favorite song from our favorite romance,"Somewhere In Time"...we both love that movie so much! This post is meant to not only share the Baby Tea (with lots of pictures) :) but more importantly, to share about the provision of God in our lives!

God's provision can be a real point of stress and worry for most women! I believe we struggle with these emotions mainly because there is a spiritual secret connected to God's provision that we can not see because our worry blinds us to it. In other words, when we worry, we are reacting in the flesh, but when we step out in faith, and believe God will provide, then we begin to see and learn of this secret.

Let me give you an example from my own life to try to explain what I mean. When my husband surrendered for the ministry, we were what this world would consider financially secure and soon would be financially wealthy. At that time, when we needed something, we could just buy it and cost was not an issue. So we did not realize it, but most of our security was based on our money!

Our faith at the time was very small because it had no reason or opportunity to grow, in reality, our faith (except for our salvation) was in our money! Sadly, this is the realm on which most American Christians live. When God brings a financial trial in their lives, or a trial that can not be solved by throwing money at it, He is actually blessing them by giving them an opportunity to increase their faith and experience the joy, peace and all the other fruit that it brings! These trials are actually great gifts from our merciful and loving heavenly father who wants to bless us! But when we respond to these trials in the flesh, because we do not understand the blessing that they really are, and refuse to take the step of faith He is asking us to, because it may bring financial struggles, we miss the blessing of increased faith, the fruit it brings in our life, and we miss the comprehension of this secret! We are blinded by fear, and unbelief.

Once my husband surrendered to the ministry, he was basically forfeiting his right to be able to work toward and determine his financial level. He now had to depend on the Lord for whatever means of provision He provided. This meant we had to learn to trust Him with ever little detail of our needs in a way that we never had to before, but...this led to increased faith as we saw Him provide.

In the Bible College setting, all the wives were learning these truths. The men who brought their families to Bible College had been called to preach, but few knew exactly in what type of ministry God was calling them to. So, most of the wives were praying and waiting with their husbands for God to show them if their husbands were to be a Pastor, Evangelist or Missionary. There was sort of a teasing joke that most wives had that they were hoping for anything...but a Missionary...please Lord anything but Missions! Of course in their spirits most were actually completely surrendered to whatever the Lord would want, but in their flesh many dreaded that verdict. Why? Because women tend to worry about provision and security and these women knew that all men in the ministry would have financial struggles, but the missionary's were multiplied many times more.

The spiritual secret I am trying to share with you is that the more the financial struggles...the more your faith will increase and your relationship with your heavenly father will grow and go from a Father type of love to a Daddy type of love and relationship!

... Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? James 2:5

What do I mean? Well, some Christians may acknowledge and trust in their Heavenly Father to meet their basic needs. The actual name of Father gives the meaning of one that is related biologically, and has the duty and responsibility to meet the child's basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. But just because he does his duty and provides financially, does not mean he has a close relationship with the child. For example, in a divorce situation, the law requires the "father" to do his duty and responsibility to provide for his offspring, but that same father may have no relationship or emotional connection with his child whatsoever! The child may feel that even though his father does his duty, he does not love or care for him personally in anyway, there is no love relationship, just biological.

But, when a father not only does his duty of providing his child's basic needs, but goes beyond that and provides his emotional needs and shows his love for his child by spending time with him and providing something that is not a need, but just a want, something the child would love to have, but doesn't necessarily need. It may even be the secret desire of the child's heart that only the father knows about, when a father loves like this, something happens in the child's heart and a special bond of love is formed, he now becomes his DADDY! Do you see the difference in the love and relationship between a Father and a Daddy?

God wants to be our heavenly DADDY! I don't mean this in a disrespectful or irreverent way at all, I'm speaking in terms of levels of love and closeness experienced in the very intimate love the child receives from their DADDY!

Because most Missionary's support is never the same and always changing month to month, and because God has called my husband to a difficult mission field and things can not be done the conventional way in which most missionaries work, our financial situation can be very unstable. So, as a missionaries wife, and the mother of a large family, I have been given the privilege and blessing of having to trust God to not only provide our basic needs, but all our needs and even our wants!

I am not saying that I always respond in the spirit as I should, and always see this as a blessing. Because I am human and get tired, and get my eyes off of the Lord, I can get stressed and worried just like everyone else! But I have learned that that is the path to a downward spiral that leads to being consumed and paralysed with FEAR. If I chose that path, I literally could not get out of bed each day ( I have had those days too), and I can't afford to do that, I have 11 little people who need me everyday. I am their entire world, and they need to see me smiling and to be joyful and to lead their little hearts to the Lord each day! So, I can not allow myself to EVER focus on our finances or lack of. The Lord has taught me to give it all to him in detailed effectual fervent prayer daily and LEAVE IT WITH HIM! He is the only one who can take care of it anyway, so when it tries to pop up during the day, I have learned to completely put it out of my mind, and actually, it would be a sin for me to worry about it anyway!

Living this way for the last 15 years, and having to trust God daily for everything, has done a work in my heart that can not be expressed in words. Through the generous giving of loving brothers and sisters in Christ, God has always provided our basic needs and we have never gone hungry or been without a sufficient home.

But... it is in those times when He provides the deepest desires of my heart, those things that I don't need but would love and would never dream of asking him for because they seem too extravagant or like a luxury. Or experiences that I would love to experience but would never dream of asking Him for because they would be too costly, and I don't feel that I deserve them anyway. It is in those times... when the God of the universe takes the time to provide these things for me, these things that only he would know that I would love, it's at these times that He becomes my DADDY! At these times He is showing me that He loves me so much and wants to give me the desires of my heart!He uses these times to increase our love relationship together! There are also other ways that He shows me His DADDY love, but in this post we are focusing on His provision.

I am always shocked and humbled when He does this, knowing that I do not deserve these things or this kind of love from Him, but He continues to pour out this kind of love constantly on me and my heart is so bonded in love to His! As He does this year after year in my life, my faith and love grows and grows and I have no doubt that He will always take care of me and provide and bless me...simply because I know and feel how much He loves me... and always will!

Can you see this spiritual secret that I am sharing? The very thing we fear...financial trials, is the very thing God wants to use to show you His loving provision and bring you into a DADDY love relationship with Him! So in reality, financial trials are a blessing! If you never have any financial need, and you always have enough money to buy everything you need or want, then you never have to depend on Him in this way and develop this level of trust and love. Is he your DADDY, or just your spiritual biological father? Is He only providing your basic needs because you won't trust Him to provide even your wants? His heart longs to be so much more to you than just your Father, but that can only come when we trust Him and take the steps of faith He is calling us to and stop worrying!

I can not encourage you enough to step out in faith and trust Him. The indescribable, all consuming love you will experience when He becomes your DADDY is incomprehensible and can not be expressed with words! It will give you an under girding of confidence in Him that can not be shaken, even by the strongest financial trials that may come!

Because my husband is a missionary and has been called by God to a work in a communist country, there is an element of risk and danger every time he enters that country. Because of the risk and our large family, I am asked the question on a regular basis if I am afraid and what will happen to me and all my children if he has to give his life for the Lord and His work? This is probably the most frequent question I face. The truth is, if that is God's will, then He will get me through it. I know in my flesh I would experience a depth of pain that I have never known, by losing the love of my life, the father of my children and one of the greatest men I have ever known, but... I would be so proud of his sacrifice, knowing for all eternity he would have the honor of being martyred for the Lord Jesus and given a martyr's crown! This would be his greatest expression of his love and devotion for the Lord Jesus! I believe it would be selfish of me to deny him this honor.

As for God providing for me and my children, I have no doubt that He would take care of us and provide somehow...He is always faithful...He can't be anything else...it would violate His character and His Word! He would provide for me and my children without a husband just like He is providing for us with a husband, the reality is... HE IS PROVIDING...NOT OUR HUSBANDS!

It is my love relationship with my heavenly DADDY that has given me the faith and confidence in His love for me and his promise to provide that makes it possible for me to trust Him to continue to have all these children all these years and... to be able to let my husband go each time he leaves for his mission work and risks his life doing so!

I can not express in words how blessed and honored I feel to have this kind of love relationship with my heavenly DADDY, and through it to have learned of this wonderful spiritual secret! My heart longs for all Christian women to experience this kind of love...but it does not come without trial, sacrifice and the decision to trust Him.

I would like to share with you the "Baby Tea" that God provided and my sister and I had so much fun planning! It was her intention to be there with us all, but that did not turn out to be God's will. The Baby Tea's planned date was only 2 weeks after her funeral. I wandered if this was too soon for me to put on a big event, but after prayer, the Lord reminded me of what He had taught me...when ever you are down about something, it helps to reach out and serve someone else! So I decided to go on as scheduled with the baby shower, knowing that focusing on someone else would be good for me at this time! And even though my sister was not able to be there, as one of my dear friends said, her love and her heart was expressed in every little detail! I also want to share how God provided even the "little" things for this Baby Tea!

First, let me remind you ahead of time, that our budget for this "Baby Tea" was $0. So, how do you plan an event with $0 in the budget? Well... you pray and ask God what He wants you to do and then you plan it all out believing that He will provide for what ever He wants you to have. Then you pray and wait for Him to bring together all the details in His timing and His way, and be thankful and content with whatever He gives you.

This is part of living by faith. If I plan get togethers or events based on the budget I have, I would never have anyone for dinner or host any get togethers at all! But when God puts it on my heart to serve Him through hospitality to others, I know He will provide the means to do it. It can be so exciting to pray and stand back and watch Him put it all together! He may lay it on someones heart to give me something that is exactly what I need and had in my mind, but could never buy it myself! This literally happens to me constantly, He is always pouring out His great love on me in this way, and not because I deserve it...just because He loves me! :)

So, the first detail of the Baby Tea were the invitations. My very sweet and talented Pastor's wife Stacey Mowery, has been making these beautiful hand made cards for years and I just love them and have been wanting to learn to make them! Then a dear friend, Cynthia Dever, sent me some very beautiful Victorian hand made cards and once again I was inspired to make some just like them for the Baby Tea invitations! So...I decided to just jump in and try to make them myself! Here is the finished product, I really did not know what I was doing, but by the grace of God, they all turned out and we got them sent! :)

The front of the invitations

Can you see the stamp in the middle of the cameo of an old fashioned lady in a rocking chair holding a baby in a christening gown? My sister bought this stamp for me 23 years ago before I had children, isn't it so beautiful!

Inside top of invitation

Inside bottom of invitation

Didn't these turn out sweet? And I have to give all the credit to my dear friend Cynthia Dever's card designs that inspired me! We made 14 of these invitations! How could we afford to make these with $0? Well...when I finally figured out that all the stuff I need to make these are bought at Hobby Lobby, the Lord reminded me that I had been given a Hobby Lobby gift certificate for Christmas! He had already provided the funds way back then! :)

To recreate the romantic Victorian dreamland in my mind, I needed some white netting of some sort to drape from the ceiling, hmm, what could I use? Then the Lord reminded me of the baby canopy that had been given to me to use over baby Timmy's cradle. I hung it from the ceiling over the middle of the food table, then draped the lace netting out and attached it to the ceiling. Isn't it so dreamy?

From the middle of the canopy I could envision a beautiful petite chandelier with crystals hanging from it, hmm, what could I use for that? Once again, the Lord reminded me of the little old rusted chandelier in the corner of the garage that I had picked up at a garage sale last year for $3! Yes, I could just paint it...PINK! And I already had the pink paint! Then, I hung some pink crystals from it that had been given to me! I just loved how it turned out, so sweet and dreamy! :) The Lord had already provided everything for this too! What is amazing, is that I have seen very similar chandeliers on eBay for about $200-$300!

This kind of decorating is what is known as "Trash to Treasure"! Well you know what they say...one man's trash is another man's treasure! :) All of my house is decorated this way...I take garage sale junk or things that are broken and things people give me and then I make them into my treasures by fixing them, painting them or covering them with new fabric until they look beautiful...well beautiful to me! :) I call this "the art of arranging junk"! But this kind of decorating is so much more exciting and fun...the challenge of creating something beautiful for nothing! It is so rewarding and fulfilling to use the creativity that God has given us to make our families surroundings beautiful and homey!

Since the baby is going to be a girl, we decided the color scheme was pink and yellow. I hung big fluffy pink roses from the middle of the canopy all around the chandelier.

Isn't it so romantic and dreamy!

I love the idea of a baby clothes line! So I hung antique baby clothes in our color scheme from twine.

Can you see the pink rose petals inside the white netting panels.

I have always loved pastel colored antique quilts! They are hard to find in the soft pastel colors I like. So through the years when ever my mother or sister find one, they grab it up and save it for my birthday or Christmas present. This is one of my favorite quilts from my collection, all have been given to me. My sister bought this one for my birthday years ago!

Here is a closer look, I just love the soft pink and yellow colors! I decided to use it as the table cloth and the basis for the color scheme for the Baby Tea.

Since this is a Tea Party, we wanted to use real, beautiful, dainty china teacups, saucers and dishes! So we used part of my collection of tea things. My collection started way back when my sister and I were little. Through the years, she and my mother and many dear friends have all given me beautiful tea pots, cups and saucers and china dishes to use for tea parties. I had quite the collection and each piece had a very special meaning and memory connected to it. So when our family moved to the mission field of Mexico, I needed to get rid of all of it. I did not mind giving up anything for the Lord and His work, we had already surrendered everything when we surrendered to be Missionaries. But the only thing that made it a little hard, was all the emotional connections and memories that went with each special piece of the collection.

So... I sent it all to my sister to sell for me! :) Later I found out that she just could not sell all my special things! So she packed them away in hopes that someday I or my children could use them again! When we had to come back from Mexico to have a baby and then could not return, she gave me the box with all my very special tea stuff in it! It was like Christmas, and all the sweet memories from each special piece was such a blessing to my heart.

My favorite tea set... it is called bramble hedge. I just love the little mice dressed in Victorian clothes having a tea party! :)

I love this pink with pink roses!!!

This pink serving bowl with the lovely pink roses is just gorgeous!

This antique jam jar is so delicate and sweet!

The picture above is of the beautiful china dishes from my collection that I chose to use for the Baby Tea! These are my absolute favorite dishes! They have the sweetest pink roses on them!

Here is a closer look at the roses...so beautiful!!!

I am so excited to tell you the story of God providing these dishes for me! Well...one of my favorite things to do is to go shopping at antique stores with my mother, sister and all my dear friends! Of course I rarely actually buy anything unless it's under $5! :) But, it is just so fun to look at all the beautiful antiques with the ladies I love! And for some reason it gets me in the most domestic mood and I can't wait to go home and deep clean everything and make it all look beautiful! Anyway, over the last 30 years of shopping, I have seen a lot of china dishes, and occasionally I would run across this certain beautiful pattern with the sweetest pink roses, I was always drawn to them like a magnet! Of course they were always very expensive, but I just enjoyed admiring their beauty! I never even dreamt of owning a set myself, I wouldn't even ask for something that frivolous. But...my heavenly DADDY already had a plan to provide them for me!

So... one day I was at my dear friend Bridget Campbell's and she said she had been cleaning and thinning out her house, and she found these old dishes she thought I might like because they had pink roses on them... Yes! Can you believe it, the very same dishes I had loved all those years!!! When I opened the box and saw the dishes, I just started crying because once again, my heavenly DADDY put it on her heart to give me the dishes I had always loved but could never and would never dream of buying! Only He knew how much I loved them and He provided them for me... just because He loves me!

If my husband and I had said no to God's call and had not surrendered to be missionaries years ago, I would probably have plenty of money to buy as many of those dishes as I wanted and more! But...I would have missed the unspeakable joy and excitement when God himself provided them for me! His all consuming love that I felt at that moment completely melted my heart and all I could do was cry! He is so good to me!!!

Once again, this is the spiritual secret that God wants to show us through financial trials and use them to draw us into a DADDY love relationship with Him, as He provides those special secret desires of our hearts! I have so many stories like this of times when God has provided things or experiences that He knew I would love!

In this picture, you can see the beautiful outfit the Lord provided for me for our Baby Tea. He worked through my husband this time! A few years ago, my husband received an anonymous Christmas money gift that he was supposed to spend on himself, but he is so sweet...he spent it on me!

My husband rarely has money to buy me a Christmas present, so he was so excited to be able to buy something really special! He of course knows how much I love pink and velvet and lace. So he picked out this very Victorian outfit he knew I would love... he loved it too! :) The top is pink velvet and the skirt has layers of lace ruffles all the way down! When I told him that he was supposed to buy something special for himself, something that would make him happy, he said what makes him the happiest, is when he is able to buy something special for me that makes me happy! Isn't he soooooo sweet! :)

Can you see the back, it even has a Victorian bustle of gathered velvet, so sweet and feminine!!!

I just love this very special outfit! Although my husband bought it a few years ago, this was the very first time I have worn it because I was pregnant at the time he bought it and have had another baby since. But now, i am so excited to tell you, I have finally lost all my extra pregnancy weight! In fact, I have lost 60lbs. since little Timmy was born in Feb.

For many years the Lord has blessed me with another baby within 7 to 9 months after I give birth. So I have to work very hard in between babies to get the weight off before I am expecting again. Otherwise, the build up of weight from all those pregnancies would be much harder to lose. And when I am expecting, I am so sick the first 4 months that I have to eat every 2 hours just to be able to get out of bed and function, so I always gain about 60 to 80lbs. with every pregnancy! With all these pregnancies, weight loss has been a huge part of my life for the last 22 years! With all this practice loosing weight, I have a plan that works well for me that I will be sharing in detail in another post. I know this is a huge concern for young mothers, I get so many emails from those who want to allow the Lord to give them more children, but are concerned about keeping all the weight off and staying in shape for their husbands.

After we lost our little Timmy, I was hoping to have another baby, but the Lord has not blessed me again yet. But, each month that I was not expecting, instead of letting myself focus on that, I have poured my energy into losing my extra weight and getting back in shape for my husband. My goal was to be back to what I weighed on my wedding day for my husband's 50th birthday present! By the grace of God and lots of prayer, exercising, dieting, and fasting (to develop more self control to say no to all those yummies I love), I only missed the goal by 5 lbs., but I finally got it off a month later! My husband was thrilled, and said the fact that I would work so hard to do this for him made him feel so loved! And the answer to all you ladies who have asked me the million dollar question, "can your tummy ever be flat and firm again after 12 pregnancies?!" The answer is...YES! But it takes lots and lots and lots of sit ups!!! :) :) :)

Staying in shape and trying to be as attractive to my husband as I can be, is a big priority for me, especially since the Lord has shown me through the years how important that really is to our husbands. This is one of the needs of our husbands that we will be covering in the marriage series in future posts, so I will stop here! Anyway, back to the shower :)

When my sister and I planned the menu we decided that chicken salad on croissants would be lovely! As I said before we prayed and waited for God to provide what He wanted us to have! So a few months later, my mother who did not know our plans, bought a bunch of chicken breasts on sale and gave me a couple of bags! So, now we have our chicken taken care of! For a tea party, we need lots of little tea treats! So I asked all the ladies from our church that were coming to bring some special treats and they all did so well, we had tons of yummies!

When it came time to plan the cake...I knew exactly how I wanted it to look...like the beautiful cake in my romantic dreamland! :) God had already provided for the cake by providing cake decorating lessons for me and my daughter years ago! I love making and decorating cakes, and I must say, this one was my favorite one to make!

I already had everything I needed for the cake in my cake supplies box!

The cake was a tropical carrot cake with carrots, walnuts, pineapple and coconut in it. It was covered in cream cheese frosting.

Since this cake was for a Baby Tea, I wanted the roses to be teeny tiny delicate tea roses in our theme colors, pink and yellow to match the quilt we used for the table cloth. We used 120 tiny roses, all hand made by my sweet daughters Alexandra and Adelaide. It took them 8 hours to make all those tiny roses...Thank you my loves, you did such a great job and such a big help for Mommy! :)

I made the Victorian antique looking baby cradle out of melted white chocolate that you pour into candy molds, then glue all the pieces together with more melted white chocolate! So it's all edible!

There is even a tiny little blonde haired baby in the cradle with a pink sleeper on! I also made the baby out of white chocolate and it's little blanket is a bed of tiny roses!

Isn't that tiny baby so sweet! I could just kiss her little cheek! :)

To go with the Victorian Baby theme, I decorated the food table using my collection of antique doll furniture, antique baby clothes, booties and toys all arranged in groupings down the middle of the table and the food dishes were placed around them. Then I added strings of pearls and babies breathe all around to add to the dreamy old fashioned look.

This is our sweet Mommy to be...Rachel Flaggard. This Baby Tea was in honor of her and her baby girl soon to come. In fact we just barely had this shower in time...her sweet baby girl was born just 2 days later!

And here she is!!! Olivia Alexandra, Praise the Lord! And she is the most beautiful, perfect newborn I have ever seen! Her little head fit right in the palm of my hand! I could not wait to see her and when I held her...ohhhhh the most wonderful feeling in the world, she instantly sent me to dreamland...but then I had trouble giving her back! :(

Here are all my baby girls! Isabella, Alexandra, Priscilla, Emmaline and Adelaide...thank you sweeties for all your help to Mommy...I love you so much!

And to my oldest baby girl...words can not express my love for you...thank you for being my baby... my daughter... and now... my friend! :)

I had to include this picture of my dear friend Carma Sumonja, she is our Senior Saint, with so much wisdom and love, she is a blessing to us all and such a prayer warrior! The Lord has used her so much to comfort my heart since my sister's death.

Ahh...sweet friends! :)

Somehow I did not get any pictures of us all actually having our tea together at the tea table! :( But we did have a wonderful time of fellowship together! After we had our tea lunch and goodies, our dear Pastor's wife, Stacey Mowery gave such a touching and heartfelt devotion on motherhood, we were all brought to tears...thank you Stacey...we love you!

And of course...time to open the gifts!

Sweet Abiline Mowery kept us in stitches as the taste tester for the "guess what baby food" game!

Well... that was our "Baby Tea"... it truly was exciting to see how God provided every little detail of every need and the desires of my heart, by helping me recreate the romantic Victorian dreamworld my sister Lora and I had imagined! It was so fun to bring all my dear friends into our dreamy world for a time of love and fellowship!

This is a video of our romantic dreamland... please come in and join me! You may need to turn off the regular music for my blog on the side bar.

Thank you for visiting me in my dreamland...and though Lora was not there in person, her loving heart shows in every detail!

I want to thank my dear husband who is so sweet and patient to let me turn our house up side down to recreate my "dreamland"! And all my dear children who worked so hard helping me! And of course, the Lord Jesus, my heavenly DADDY, who continually pours out so much love on me...it can not be expressed in words... He loves me more than any earthly Daddy ever could! :)

... off to dreamland!

Much Love in Him,

In Loving Memory...

2011-09-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

Lora Veronica Heiman

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited,

Yet in all these things...

It cannot cripple love, it cannot alter hope.

We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

It cannot corrode faith, it cannot destroy peace,

For I am persuaded that neither death, or life...

It cannot kill friendship, it cannot suppress memories,

Nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth...

It cannot silence courage, it cannot invade the soul.

Nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God

It cannot steal eternal life, it cannot conquer the spirit.

Which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:37-39

Dear Ones,

Thank you all for your many faithful prayers these past months for my sister Lora and her battle with cancer. After 3 years of battling her cancer, she went home to be with the Lord on Saturday, August 20th, 2011. We Praise the Lord Jesus for His great faithfulness to Lora by helping her through all her pain and suffering and giving her the grace to have such an inspiring testimony of peace, joy, strength and courage to the very end...and though my heart aches for her, I have great joy knowing she is with the Lord, safe forevermore. This post is in loving memory of her beautiful life.

On October 7, 1969, I was blessed with twin baby sisters, Lisa Victoria and Lora Veronica Heiman. We would not learn till later that Lisa had suffered brain damage during her breech birth and would always have the life of an infant, never learning to walk, talk or be self sufficient in any way. But, she was always a huge blessing to our family and Lora and I adored her, she was our forever baby doll.

I was so proud of my twin baby sisters.

Lora was such a sweet sister, we were always so close. She was such a part of myself, always knowing what I was thinking and feeling, without any words necessary. She was always very sensitive to the feelings of others and had such a soft spot and love for children.

Lora with her beautiful piercing blue eyes at 1 year.

I have memories of us playing wonderful adventures for hours together...she had such an incredible imagination.

Sherry, Lisa and Lora...inseparable sisters. Even though little Lisa could not do the things we did, we always found a way to include her in everything.

Sherry, Lisa and Lora on vacation.

Lora and I with our Mother in Colorado.

Lora's 1st year of school.

The twins on Easter Sunday.

Lora's sweet smile.

She is holding our favorite record...Peter Cottontail.

Lora always loved horses and English riding.

Lora at her riding lessons.

Lora at 13, we had so much fun during her teen years, always playing crazy pranks on each other.

She loved Christmas.

Lora at 15, what a great memory... the day Lora and I prayed together and she accepted Christ as her Savior.

She was always crazy and fun loving!

We were always dreaming of being at the ocean...our favorite place.

That same sweet smile.

Lora loved animals.

Sisters...Forever

My wedding day was made so special by having Lora by my side as my Maid of honor.

Lora, Lisa and myself... the three Amigos.

Lora when she received her RN.

Aunt Lora with baby Ally at her first Christmas.

Lora always loved babies and little children, she said her favorite sound on earth was that of a little child laughing and her favorite smell was that of a newborn babies skin.

Aunt Lora, baby Nicky and little Ally, Lora loved to hear them laugh.

Aunt Lora loved to hold baby Jonny, she said he was so delicate and sweet, and he was one of my smallest babies.

Aunt Lora made Nicky's Dumbo birthday extra special with her yummy treats she made and her beaming smile full of love.

Aunt Lora, Jonny, Nicky and Ally at Christmas.

Lora loved Christmas and always had so much fun buying extra special presents that she knew each of the children would love.

Ally, Aunt Lora, Jonny and Nick on another special outing Lora planned for us all.

Aunt Lora and Mamaw gave Ally roses for her first piano recital when she was 7. Lora, who also played the piano very well, was always encouraging Ally to practice and improve her musical talent.

Aunt Lora absolutely adored baby Alex, always covering his little face with a million kisses.

Nick, Jon and Ally loved playing with Aunt Lora.

This is my Mom with Alex, Jonny, Ally, Nicky and Aunt Lora when we left for bible college. This move was very hard for all of us because we were so close to my mother and sister. The children missed them both very much during those years in N.C., while my husband prepared for the ministry.

But Aunt Lora was always faithful to send special boxes with cards, gifts and toys for everyone to cheer us up and make us feel loved and missed. She always sprayed her favorite perfume on every card or special box so the children would know immediately that it was from Aunt Lora. Now the children say that is one of their fondest memories...getting something in the mail with her smell on it.

Aunt Lora always gave all the children very special birthday parties, here is little Alex with Lora at his 4th birthday.

Aunt Lora holding baby Addy and little Belle.

Aunt Lora loved to cuddle with little Alex, and he absolutely loved his dear Aunt.

Isabella loved Aunt Lora so much.

Aunt Lora with little Alex and Belle at the ocean, she would play for hours with them in the sand.

Collecting shells was one of our favorite things to do together.

Ally adored her Aunt Lora, they have always been very close. Lora was such an encourager, she would talk to Ally for hours about everything Ally was interested in and always tried to find ways to help her to achieve her goals and ambitions, Ally said, she always made her feel so special.

Lora feeding the seagulls.

Lora and I have always loved the ocean in the off season, when we could have the beach all to our selves and enjoy the quiet..all you could hear were the beautiful waves and the seagulls...our favorite place on earth.

My sweet mother took us all on vacation to Myrtle Beach when we lived in N.C.

Sisters...Forever...

we loved to sit for hours watching the waves and talking, we both loved the ocean so much. This particular time I was expecting Emma and I had chosen this time alone with my sister to break the difficult news to her that God had called my husband to be a missionary to a communist country. At that time it was legal for all of our family to live there with him and that was our plan. This news was quite a blow to my sister, knowing how dangerous it was and that there was a chance we may never come back. After many tears together, we prayed and she surrendered all of us to the Lord and His will.

She said the pain in her heart was so intense, it hurt so much to let us go...knowing she may not see us again in this life. Little did I know then that in just 10 short years, I would be the one that would have to surrender her to the Lord's will and endure the heart ache of letting her go... never to see her again in this life.

Myself, my mother, Ally and Aunt Lora at Ally's 16th birthday Tea Party.

Ever since we were little girls, Lora and I loved Tea Parties. So for Ally's 16th birthday, Lora gave her a very special Tea Party at a beautiful Tea Room. Lora, who is a self taught gourmet chef, specializing in pastries and every kind of delectable Tea Treats, personally made most of the beautiful food for this Tea Party. The whole thing was a surprise for Ally who was so excited to see all her family and friends for her birthday. Lora was so sweet, always putting on special birthdays and events for all my children.

This picture was taken shortly after Lora was diagnosed with breast cancer, even then she had an optimistic attitude and a beaming smile.

This was after her cancer surgery, she said she was growing very close to the Lord Jesus through this fiery trial. Lora said before this she had always been distracted by getting her education and career going and by the things of this world. But the Lord Jesus used this trial to draw her very close to himself. She spent most her time studying the bible and praying and despite her suffering, God have her a deep peace and He filled her heart with so much joy, the bible calls it,"unspeakable joy" and "the peace that passeth all understanding".

This is Lora 1 year ago at Nick's graduation party, she was so proud of him.

My mother and Lora with Ally at her first private voice recital. Lora had always been Ally's biggest cheerleader in anything Ally tried to accomplish and she had always encouraged Ally in studying voice. Lora had dreamed of and talked about being at Ally's recital for so long, so we were so excited that she was able to find the strength to come, that made such a special memory for Ally to cherish.

Even in the midst of all she was going through, Lora still rallied her strength to have a very special Mother's Day Tea Party for our mother. This was a very special time for us because we knew it would probably be our last tea party together.

Lora with me and all my children in March, right before a very risky surgery on her heart. The children and I were saying our last goodbyes just in case she did not make it through the surgery. She was so sweet and joyful, always encouraging me that if she did not make it, the Lord would help us through it all...Praise the Lord, He chose to give her 5 more months.

When Lora's battle with cancer had begun, I bought her a prayer journal, which she filled with beautiful prayers and scriptures... it is now my treasure. I would like to share some of her prayers with you all, I thought it might encourage others to hear from her own words the great work God had done in her heart.

From Lora's prayer journal: The day I found out that the cancer had returned I was thrown back a bit, but that night God spoke this verse to my heart, "be still and know that I am God". Yes, communication is not just one way with God, it's TWO WAY! He speaks back to us. "my sheep hear and know my voice". To "be still" means to not wring the hands or look around nervously, to not fidget because I'm scared. It means my body is calm and at rest and my mind rests in Him and what He will do next. He knew years ago that I would get cancer. He knew that it was going to be a valley that He would literally carry me through.

It may sound strange, but I am the happiest right now, then I've ever been in my life. There is a reason why, the bible says,"Happy is he who trusts in the Lord". Trusting in Jesus is like leaning back on a comfortable pillow and letting Him lead you.

I have to say since my cancer surgery, I have not had one bad night. I lay my head down on my pillow and sleep all night. When I get up, I am peaceful and have not one shred of fear or sadness, or even regret. I don't lye on my bed at night and worry, it's because Jesus has been carrying me through. When I keep my mind on Him, I have total peace, not just peace, I am excited to see where He is going to lead our family next in this trial.

I don't think there is anything that could take away my joy. Yes, I'm saying that even after the cancer has come back, Nothing can steal my joy... NOT EVEN DEATH!

JOY in the valley of the shadow of death, He has given me JOY through this trial of cancer...because I am resting in the palm of His hand!

Love,

Lora

Lora has learned the secret to having joy in all circumstances of life, by resting in the palm of Jesus hand. She had such a wonderful testimony all through her battle with cancer, she was not angry or bitter with God, in fact she thanked Him regularly for using it to change her and draw her so close to Himself, and for using it to show her Dad his need of a Savior and helping him accept Christ as his Savior also.

She had been praying daily for her Dad's salvation since she had been saved at the age of 15. She had always prayed," Lord, please save my Dad, no matter what it takes, even my life". She had great joy knowing that God answered that prayer and used her cancer and her death to bring her Dad to salvation.

Lora told me she was so happy with all that God had done in her life through her cancer and in her Father's life, she said it was worth it all and she would be willing to do it all again.

Because Lora had grown so close to the Lord Jesus, she had developed a great burden for lost souls, those who had not yet accepted Christ as their Savior, especially her friends and family members who she spent hours and hours praying for.

Before she died, when she knew she was so close to heaven, she made me promise to give her testimony at her funeral and tell everyone how Jesus had helped her through her cancer.

She said to me,"at my funeral, when all those friends and family whom I love are gathered, tell them, PLEAD with them about their eternal destination, where will they spend eternity?

She said, tell them if they have not repented of their sins and accepted Christ as their Savior, their eternal souls are in danger.

Tell them, if they died on the way home from my funeral without Christ, they will spend all eternity in the fires of hell, separated from Jesus forever.

Tell them, the bible says,"all have sinned and come short of the glory of God"( Romans 3:23 ), we are ALL SINNERS and need a Savior!

Tell them, the bible says,"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"(Romans 6:23)

Tell them, the bible says,"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have ever lasting life"(John 3:16),

Tell them, I long to see them again in heaven, but there is only one way to get to heaven.

You must acknowledge that you are a sinner.

You must repent or turn away from your sin.

You must accept the free gift of eternal life purchased for you by Jesus Christ when He shed His blood on the cross for your sins.

Tell them, the bible says,..."That ye may know that ye have eternal life and that ye may believe on the name of the son of God"(1 John 5:13).

You can KNOW that you have eternal life, and you can know it TODAY!

Then, she said, tell them I love them, but Jesus loves them so much more!

Lora and many of us, spent hours planning and praying for her funeral. It was her greatest desire that God would be glorified and that He would use it to bring someone to salvation through Jesus Christ. God gave her the desire of her heart and blessed the funeral in a very special way, many said they had never experienced a funeral that had glorified the Lord Jesus so much. The preacher Lora had been led to pick gave a very powerful gospel presentation and since then, one family member as already been saved and we are praying for many more, Praise God for His great faithfulness!!!

We praise the Lord for our own church family, who made a wonderful meal for the funeral and whose presence that whole day gave us strength and comfort. Their love has been such a blessing to our family.

We are also very thankful to all our dear family and friends who came to the funeral...it was such a comfort to see them there.

Sisters...Forever...

About a year ago, Lora told me she would probably not survive her cancer. She said the one thing she longed for was to hold a newborn baby again. She has never been married and never had her own children, she said she was so busy getting her education and career going...time just slipped away.

So she told me she had been praying that I would have one more baby before she died, so she could hold it and help me with it...a few weeks later, I was expecting our 12th child. Lora was so thrilled, she talked about the coming baby constantly and our little joke was that it was "her baby". She has always been so excited about every pregnancy of mine, but this time it meant so much more to her...this was the baby she had prayed for.

When I lost the baby(Timmy) at just under 7 months, Lora was so shocked and disappointed, she shed many tears with me. But after prayer, she said, this baby really was "her baby" and she would be the first one in our family to see him and hold him...in heaven...he was waiting for her. She was such a comfort to my heart during that time because I knew she felt much of the pain I did in his loss. The day of his funeral she had planned to be there right beside me, but for the first time, she was having great difficulty breathing. Because of this she was too weak to come to the funeral...that same night we learned that the cancer had spread to her lungs and she had taken a turn for the worst. From that point on she declined weekly.

All through those months, as I was dealing with the grief of losing baby Timmy, I kept remembering her comment, that she would be in heaven with him soon. The morning of her death she reminded me again that Jesus and Timmy were waiting for her... she would be holding "her baby" soon.

The day before her funeral, the man from our family cemetery called and said that there were not two graves next to my grandmother as we had thought, there was only one grave and baby Timmy had already been buried there. So the only way to bury Lora next to our Grandmother, was to put Lora and baby Timmy in the same grave spot. He said, with our permission, they would bury his little casket right on top of hers...I cried so hard for so long...it was so beautiful. I know both their spirits are in heaven, but the only thing left on this earth are their bodies, the part I could see and touch and hold. To know their bodies are buried together is so beautiful and knowing how happy that would have made Lora...to know that "her baby" was buried with her...I can just feel the joy she would have felt...God is so good.

I want to thank all who have sent flowers, cards, emails, phone calls, food and the many, many prayers that have been prayed for myself, my mother and our family. We have been swamped with so much love...thank you all.

I praise and thank the Lord Jesus who has carried us through this very difficult trial, as always He is Faithful and He will continue to carry us through our grief.

Cancer may have drained the life from Lora's body, but it could not take away her beautiful blue eyes full of compassion, her beaming smile full of so much love, and her great peace and JOY the Lord had given her!

Even to the very end... SHE PRAISED THE LORD JESUS!

The day Lora died, she was in so much pain and could hardly speak, then she gave me a copy of her favorite hymn and pointed to the last verse that she had highlighted. She was telling me that her time to be with the Lord was near. I would like to share with you the words:

Be still my soul: the hour is hastening on, When we shall be, forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, loves purest joys restored,

Be still my soul: when change and tears are past, All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last.

After I read these words, Lora declined very quickly, my mother and I were able to hold her body as she was dying and I had my cheek on her cheek as she took her last breathe...

Goodbye dear sweet Lora... my sister...my dearest friend...

my heart aches for you...and yet I look to the one who promises to heal my broken heart and carry my burden of grief...and someday, take me home to Himself... and to you, where there are no more tears, no more pain and no more goodbyes....FOREVER

I Love You

Sisters...Forever

Much Love in Him,

Please Pray...

2011-08-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

This is Sherry's daughter Alexandra writing. This past Saturday, August 20, 2011, my aunt Lora, who was battling cancer, went home to be with the Lord. Thank you all for the many prayers during this time and please continue to pray for our family.

Alexandra for Sherry

Marriage part 4: Wife, are you really trusting the LORD?

2011-08-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

Thank you again for all the encouraging emails! It is such a blessing to hear how the Lord has used this series on marriage to help you better understand His plan for you as a wife. Many have shared how they have used this wisdom from God’s word to improve their marriages, Praise the Lord!

We will continue to look at 1 Corinthians 13, to learn what unconditional love is, so we can be better equipped to show it to our husbands. After we complete 1 Cor. 13, we will begin to cover the needs of our husbands.

In the first 3 verses of this chapter we learned the importance of knowing how to love and that every other spiritual accomplishment is NOTHING if we don’t know how to love!

1 Corinthians 13:4 (remember, the word charity is used for love)

⁴Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up...

In the last 2 posts, we learned what it meant to “suffer long” and to be “kind”, in the context of loving our husbands. Now we will look at “charity envieth not”, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up...

Envieth: to be heated or to boil with envy, jealousy, hatred, anger, zealously affect , envy, desire , covet, covet earnestly, to burn with zeal.

Vaunteth: to boast one’s self, to be proud.

Puffed up: to make proud, to be puffed up, to bear one’s self loftily, be proud

1 Corinthians 13:4 is saying that unconditional love is not prideful and so it does not envy the one that is being loved.

Lets look at one of the words used to define envieth: COVET.

Covet means to want something that does not belong to you. Vaunteth and puffed up both mean to be proud. It is our pride that motivates us to COVET and ENVY!

How does this apply to the role of the wife?

Many women struggle with coveting the POSITION OF AUTHORITY that God has given their husbands, this is not loving him unconditionally. This struggle is not new, it began in the garden!

^{Genesis 3:16}Unto the woman he said,… thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

This verse takes us way back to the beginning, in Genesis, when God set the order of authority in the marriage relationship. And because of our sin nature, every women since then has struggled with rebellion against that order at some time in her marriage. We see it again in Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

The phrase “as unto the Lord”, in Ephesians 5:22, means “as if he is the Lord”. God is saying to submit to our husbands authority in the same way we would submit to Him, out of love and obedience to God, for the sake of our husbands position, not because he personally has EARNED IT.

Our society says that respect and subjection have to be EARNED, but God commands us to respect and submit to our husband's because of his position of authority, not because he has personally earned it by his behavior. Actually, this makes it so much easier to submit when our husbands are not having the right attitude. We can overlook them personally and choose to respect and submit to their POSITION as our earthly authority, knowing that he will answer to God for his wrong attitudes. Once again, this is the time to choose to forgive him and show him unconditional love and submission.

This is always tied so closely to our own relationship with the Lord Jesus. Because we are submitting to our husbands “as unto the Lord”, if we are struggling to submit in some area of our life to the Lord, then that same struggle will play out in our marriage as we struggle to submit to our husbands! THERE IS A DIRECT CONNECTION between our ability to submit to the Lord and our ability to submit to our husbands! WHY?

Because the reason we struggle in any area of submitting to the Lord, is because WE DON’T REALLY TRUST HIM! So we also don’t TRUST that if we truly let our husbands lead, God will take care of it all! Our pride and fear tell us that God needs our help leading our marriage!

When a wife steps in and takes over her husband’s authority and position as leader, by trying to be the boss and make the decisions, she is not only in rebellion against her earthly authority, her husband, she is also in rebellion against God himself. She has made the decision to be HER OWN GOD, by placing herself EQUAL TO GOD and deciding for herself what is best for her instead of trusting God to make that decision through her husband.

In Isaiah we see that Satan or Lucifer did the very same thing when he rebelled against God.

Isaiah 14:12-15
¹²How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
¹³For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
¹⁴I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
¹⁵Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

No wonder God says rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft!

1 Samuel 15:23
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft…

Only when a wife is truly surrendered to God’s will for her life and trusting Him to take care of her, can she obey God and submit to her husband’s leadership with a consistent sweet, loving attitude. She can now trust her husband’s decisions, knowing that ultimately, God is in control of what happens!

(because of the length of this post, it is divided into 2 parts to make it easier to come back later if you need to. J)

Part 2

God has the power to control your husband’s heart!

Proverbs 21:1
The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

In this verse “the King” is a position of authority, and the principle here is that God holds the heart of an authority in His hands and He can turn it where ever He wants it to go! Let’s look at some more verses where God shows us His power to control an authorities heart:

Exodus 11:10
And Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh: and the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go out of his land.

Why did God harden Pharaoh’s heart? To show Pharaoh his power and to increase the faith of God’s people by showing them His power!

Deuteronomy 2:30
But Sihon king of Heshbon would not let us pass by him: for the LORD thy God hardened his spirit, and made his heart obstinate, that he might deliver him into thy hand, as appeareth this day.

Once again, God has shown His mighty power to control the heart of this earthly authority! Is your husband’s heart HARD TOWARD YOU? Maybe GOD IS NOT ALLOWING IT TO SOFTEN!

Maybe God wants to do a work IN YOUR HEART, and HE IS HARDENING YOUR HUSBANDS HEART, until you repent from your REBELLION and choose to obey GOD and SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND FROM A SINCERE AND LOVING HEART!

Most women do not realize they are in rebellion to God and their husbands! It can be very difficult for them to see this truth! I have counselled countless Christian women, who would not accept that THEIR REBELLION WAS THE ROOT PROBLEM IN THEIR MARRIAGE! As a result, THEIR HUSBAND"S HEART CONTINUES TO STAY HARD TOWARD THEM!

When a wife is in submission and OUT OF GOD’S WAY, He can work in the heart of the authority to change it and direct it. But when the wife takes over and tries to lead her husband, he usually responds in frustration or anger because she has said by her actions that she does not respect him, and now HER OFFENSE IN HIS HEART IS IN THE WAY OF GOD WORKING IN HIS HEART!

When a wife does this, she is not only getting out from under her authorities leadership but also from God’s protection! If she has not allowed God to lead her husband and is trying to lead him herself, she will not know for sure that the decision she made is IN GOD’S WILL, because God shows the wife His will for her life through her authority, HER HUSBAND!

Many times in the past, I have experienced God’s ability to change my husband’s heart in a decision. When my husband is going to make a decision that I do not have peace about, instead of fusing, arguing, nagging and refusing to submit to it, I have learned to lovingly support his decision and only give counsel if it is asked. Remember, he will see unasked for advise as veiled criticism. Then I quietly take it to the Lord in prayer and leave it to Him to change if it is wrong. This kind of response is what God calls a "meek and quiet spirit", which He says is of great value to the wife.

1 Peter 3:5 ...even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

A meek and quiet spirit is one that does not worry or fuse every time she thinks her husband is making a wrong decision, because she is trusting the Lord, she simply takes the matter to Him in prayer and leaves it to Him to change her husbands mind if he is wrong! All the while she is still having a sweet, loving and supportive attitude toward her husband! Many times the Lord would work in my husband's heart and he would come to me and say he has changed his mind and no longer has peace about that decision he was going to make. Because he had my loving support for whatever decision he made, I was out of God’s way and He was able to work in his heart to change his mind. This is very exciting when God answers your prayers so specifically and directly!

On the other hand, many times when I thought my husband was making the wrong decision and I responded correctly and quietly took it to the Lord in prayer and left it to Him to change, HE DID NOT CHANGE MY HUSBANDS HEART. At these times, I have to focus on trusting the Lord with the outcome and it always works out that either my husband’s decision was right after all (which is usually the case), or God was allowing Him to make the wrong decision and fail, to teach him something. God can do a great work in our hearts by allowing us to go through times of failure. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF FAILURE, LET YOUR HUSBAND LEAD AND FAIL IF NECESSARY, TO LEARN WHAT GOD WANTS TO TEACH HIM AND YOU!

Your FEAR should be a red light to your heart that you are not totally TRUSTING GOD with your life! We women struggle so much with FEAR, but don’t allow fear to control you, THE LORD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU, HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!

When the Lord does allow your husband to experience the fiery trial of failure, it is crucial that you do not remind him of his failure, or have an unloving attitude. He needs you to pour out great love and support for him and let him know the work that God is doing in your heart and life through this trial! He needs to know you still respect him and love him and trust him, which you can’t truly do from your heart unless you respect and love and trust the Lord Jesus! Remember, God is in control and He promises to work all things together for your good.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose

Through the years, I have seen a pattern that God follows in the life of my husband and many others. At times, He will allow him to fail and take him through a trial of DEEP HUMBLING, before He HONORS HIM. This principal is seen in Proverbs:

Proverbs 15:33
The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

God uses these times of deep humbling to do a work in my husband’s heart and mine to prepare us for the next part of God’s plan for our lives! When we were younger, these trials were a few days, weeks or maybe months long. But as we get older they last longer and longer, sometimes years at a time, and it is harder to see the purpose, when the end of the trial is not in sight. Why do the trials get longer and harder? TO DRAW US CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE LORD, WHICH WILL MAKE US MORE LIKE HIM, SO HE CAN USE OUR LIVES IN A MORE POWERFUL WAY!

The GREATER THE HUMBLING PROCESS, THE GREATER THE FUTURE HONOR WILL BE, this is always how God has worked in our lives and so many others!

We see this principal again in the life of Moses, I will not go into the whole story here, but most of you know that he was greatly humbled in the desert, and God used that time to prepare him for the great honor of leading God’s people out of Egypt!

When God is taking your husband through this kind of trial, you must draw very close to the Lord and stay focused on Him. By God’s grace, purpose in your heart to be patient, allowing God as much time as He knows is necessary to prepare your husband and you for His plan.

Another crucial reason not to allow yourself to envy or covet your husband’s position of authority, is FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN!

Every moment of everyday, your children are watching your example and taking it all in! The way in which you submit to your husband’s authority is exactly the way they will submit to EVERY AUTHORITY IN THEIR LIFE! That includes your husband’s authority, your authority and GOD”S AUTHORITY!!!

Because of this, YOUR EXAMPLE CAN HAVE HUGE POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES OR HUGE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

The controlling, unsubmissive, rebellious wife, is moment by moment sowing dangerous, deadly seeds of rebellion in the hearts of her children, and God promises, WE WILL REAP WHAT WE SOW!!!

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

I have seen this tragic truth played out over and over in the lives of so many. One example is a Christian wife I was trying to warn about this truth. When ever her husband made a decision she did not like, she would not submit to him, instead she would storm out of the room and leave in her car for a couple of hours till she came back and locked herself in her bedroom for the rest of the night. This happened quite often in full view of the children and eventually the oldest daughter did exactly the same thing! When she did not want to obey her father’s decision, she also stormed out and left in the car…BUT SHE NEVER CAME BACK!!!

This mother was SHOCKED and HEART BROKEN! She could not comprehend that her own example of rebellion was the cause of losing her daughter forever! To this day, 15 years later, they are not reconciled and have not even spoken to one another! Unfortunately, this tragic story is not an isolated one!

Wives, this is too high a price to pay for our selfish rebellion! We must never allow ourselves to envy or covet our husband’s position of authority! We must choose to surrender our wills to the Lord Jesus and ask Him to teach us to love our husbands unconditionally so we can willingly, lovingly submit to his leadership, trusting that ultimately, the Lord is in control!

REMEMBER: Everything we are learning in this marriage series is impossible to do in our own strength, we must allow the Lord Jesus to fill us with His Strength, Grace and Power by having quality time with the Lord daily in EFFECTUAL FERVENT PRAYER and in STUDYING GOD"S WORD! The more time we spend with Him, the more we will love Him!

In order to have victory in every area of the role of the wife, we also need to pray for more TEMPERANCE or self control to be able to submit with the right heart attitude and choose to forgive when necessary and respond in unconditional love to our husbands.

Years ago, the Lord led me to begin fasting one day a week to develop more temperance and to pray for important issues in my life. I CANNOT OVER EMPHASIZE THE IMPACT THAT FASTING AND PRAYER HAS MADE IN MY LIFE AND MY CHARACTER, ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF TEMPERANCE!!! Because of this I will be doing an entire post just on fasting to help and encourage those who would like to start this very vital and Godly discipline.

May the Lord continue to change our hearts and give us the grace to truly Trust Him and submit to His authority by submitting to our husbands!

Because Love...Envieth not!

Much Love in Him,

Marriage part 3: Wife, are your words KIND?

2011-07-26T23:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

I was swamped with emails this week in response to the marriage series, I am almost finished responding to them all, thank you for being patient with me! The majority were very positive and I want to thank you for the encouraging words! As I suspected, because of the lack of biblical structure, the older women teaching the younger in the context of the home, there is a HUGE need for this type of teaching!

A few of you expressed that you thought I was being one sided by only focusing on the needs of the husband. I know that the wife also has needs that are just as intense and real as her husbands, but the point that I am trying to make, is that it is not our job to focus on our needs and how he may not be meeting them. This is a dangerous focus and can get us into trouble! Remember this principal, FOCUSING ON OUR RIGHTS, WILL PRODUCE FEELINGS OF REBELLION, FOCUSING ON OUR RESPONSIBILITIES, WILL PRODUCE REVIVAL!

As we continue our study, I will be including the needs of the wife, but only as a way to better help you understand the differences between our needs and our husbands needs and the difference in how we think in a given situation.

There is another issue I think needs to be addressed now before we continue our study. Some of you, while being very positive about this study, have expressed the assumption that all of this is probably much easier for me to live out in my marriage because my husband is a “Missionary”. This is a very common misconception among women and you are not the first to make this assumption. Many times through the years when I have tried to encourage another woman who has come to me with questions about a marriage situation, she has made this same assumption and I have heard these words, “but this is all so easy for you, you are married to a Missionary”, or,”if I were married to a Missionary like you are, I could respond as well as you”!

First of all, any good you may see in my life is all from the Lord and His power, and has nothing to do with me!

I totally understand this wrong assumption, when I was a young wife learning these principles for the first time, and my husband was not yet in the ministry, in fact, he was not even a believer yet, I thought the very same thing! The Lord had led me to an older Godly woman who I loved very much, but deep in my heart I thought, “there is no way she can relate or comprehend what my life is like, after all her husband is a PASTOR!!!

But, now that I am older, and my own husband is a Missionary and 95% of my friends who live all over America and the world, are married to Pastors and Missionaries, I can tell you that your assumption is WRONG!

Your wrong assumption is probably based on the thought that because our husbands are spiritual leaders, and very Godly men, that our marriages are easier. If this is your assumption, LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU!

Yes, our husbands are VERY GODLY MEN, in fact, my husband is one of the most godly men I have ever known, a wonderful husband and father and I love him dearly, but because of their position as spiritual leaders, our marriages are not EASIER than the regular Christian’s marriages, in fact, they can be MUCH MORE DIFFICULT!

WHY? Because we are in a SPIRITUAL BATTLE! If your husband is a spiritual leader, he has stepped up to the front lines of the battle, and his wife and family go with him! This is a GREAT HONOR, but with every great honor, comes great sacrifice and suffering.

Our enemy, Satan is not going to sit back and let our husbands and our families make an impact in his kingdom without a fight! He is going to oppose and resist every moment of every day!

I am convinced, after years of my husband being ‘in the ministry’, and knowing so many other women whose husbands are, that most Christians cannot begin to comprehend the intense spiritual, emotional and sometimes physical stress that our husbands endure because of the constant onslaught of the enemy! Add to that the intense financial pressures that most Missionaries and some Pastors experience year after year! All of this can cause seasons when they may struggle with deep depression, despair and disillusionment, which can make the battle harder for their wives and children to endure. Only as we look to the Lord and draw close to Him will we have the grace to endure and keep our focus on eternal rewards!

The truth is, the GREATER the task the Lord has given these great men, the GREATER the enemy will oppose them and the more difficult their lives and the lives of their wives and children will be!

Satan opposes every Christian man, but that same opposition is multiplied many times over for the Christian leader!

Why? Why does he put so much effort in opposing our leaders? Why does he want them to fall into sin, and their wives and children to fall into rebellion? Because if his family is not in biblical subjection and order, he is no longer qualified to be a leader!

And though every Christian man is Satan’s target, THE MAN IN LEADERSHIP IS HIS BULLS EYE!!! If he falls MANY, MANY WILL FALL WITH HIM!!! This is our enemies ULTIMATE GOAL!

This is why when young women decide they want to marry a man who is going to be in the ministry, I do encourage them, but I try to give them a realistic picture of what their life will be, and try to get them to comprehend the importance of being COMPLETELY SURRENDERED TO GOD”S WILL in the life of their husbands! Many young women with good intentions have married a man who was called by God to the ministry and ruined his life and his ability to be used in a great way, because they were not truly surrendered and did not want to endure the difficulty! These great men now have to bear the unbearable sorrow of not being able to answer the call of God on their lives!

With all of this said, you can believe me when I say that there is nothing in this series that I am encouraging you to do as a wife that I myself have not had to do at some time in the last 24 years of marriage! And I can testify that GOD”S WAYS WORK!!!

I realize that some of you may be married to unbelievers, and I understand some of what you may be experiencing since in the early part of our marriage, my husband was not yet a believer. Because of this I am planning on writing a post at the end of this marriage series with a biblical plan to help and encourage you while you wait and pray for his salvation.

Because the first part of this post is already so long, I have divided this post into 2 parts to make it easier to come back and read later if you need to. J ___________________________________________________________________________

What is Love? part 2

Now we will continue looking at 1 Corinthians 13 to learn what God says unconditional love is.

Remember, in the first 3 verses of this chapter we learned the importance of knowing how to love and that every other spiritual accomplishment is NOTHING if we don’t know how to love!

1 Corithians 13:4 (cont.)

Verse 4: Charity suffereth long, and is kind…

In the last post we covered “long suffering”, now we will look at what it means to be KIND.

Kindness: having or showing a tender and considerate and helpful nature; "kind words showing understanding and sympathy"; tolerant and forgiving under provocation;

Now let’s look at another verse that directly connects “kind words” to the role of the wife.

Proverbs 31:26
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

In proverbs 31 God has given us many characteristics of the Godly wife. One of them is “in her tongue is the law of kindness”.The idea here is that she has a law that she disciplines her tongue to obey, it is the law of kindness. She disciplines herself to take all her words before she speaks them through the filter of “kindness”. She must focus on her words and ask herself, are they kind? How will they effect the person I am speaking to? If they are not kind, she must carefully choose new wording! This takes great “self discipline” or what the bible calls “temperance”. Wives need to pray consistently for the Lord to develop the very vital character quality of temperance into them until it becomes a part of who they are.

In fact, everything we will be covering in this marriage series requires great amounts of TEMPERANCE, in order to have victory in each area of the role of the wife.

Years ago, the Lord led me to begin fasting one day a week to develop more temperance and to pray for important issues in my life. I CANNOT OVER EMPHASIZE THE IMPACT THAT FASTING AND PRAYER HAS MADE IN MY LIFE AND MY CHARACTER, ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF TEMPERANCE!!! Because of this I will be doing an entire post just on fasting to help and encourage those who would like to start this very vital and Godly discipline.

Learning to control our tongues is so important, that the bible says if we don’t our RELIGION IS IN VAIN!

James 1:26
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

The issue of learning to control our tongues and only allow them to speak kind words is HUGE in the context of marriage! If we can control our tongues in response to the person closest to us, who can hurt us the most (our husbands), then it will be much easier to control them when we are responding to others!

Many men struggle with anger, when they are hurt or frustrated, they may respond in anger, then the wife usually responds back with unkind words because she is hurt and confused by his anger, and now an argument has begun! But the truth is, you do not have to be controlled by his anger, by the grace of God, you can purpose in your heart to NEVER ARGUE, by refusing to argue and choose to respond in love with kind words and actions! This will defuse an argument before it begins.

This is what God says about a women who is characterized by arguing.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

Brawling means: to quarrel. This is definitely not living by the law of kindness!

So many painful arguments, and lifelong hurts, can be avoided if the wife will learn to defuse them before they start by responding with kind words! This principal is seen in Proverbs 15:1.

Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Countless times in my husband’s ministry, total strangers have approached me and spoken very unkindly about some aspect of his ministry or our life or something about us personally. But instead of allowing that person to hurt me and respond unkindly, by God’s grace, I have learned to show them the unconditional love of Christ by responding with kind words. And very quickly their countenance and their tone changes and they are also speaking kindly! Many of these same people ended up becoming great friends and still are to this day! Amazing how well God’s ways work!

Responding this way to others would not have been so easy and natural if I had not first learned it in my marriage! After years of allowing the Holy Spirit to help me respond in love to my husband, it has become much easier to respond correctly to everyone else.

We need to learn to not allow others words and actions to control our responses and steal our joy!

To be a Godly wife, we must learn to control our tongues, the bible has much to say about the destruction an uncontrolled tongue can make!

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:8
But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

James 3:5
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

These verses tell us of the great destruction the tongue can make! And once a hurtful word is spoken, it can be forgiven, but it can never be erased!

This next verse gives us a promise, that if we refrain, or control our tongues, we will love life and see good days!

1 Peter 3:10
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

In Proverbs 18:21 it says that death and life are in the power of the tongue, meaning we can destroy or give life with our words! We must purpose to never use our tongues to hurt or destroy our dear husbands by critisizing, belittling, accusing or being negative in any way to them! And the quickest way to destroy them is to do any of this in PUBLIC! We must use this powerful weapon for good in the lives of our husbands to give them life by building them up, praising them, thanking them and loving them!

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Another reason wives can experience great difficulty in controlling their tongues is because they have a HEART PROBLEM! If they are harboring bitterness in their hearts because of all the times their husbands have hurt their feelings, this sin of bitterness will come out in unkind words!

Luke 6:45
… for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

This verse is saying that whatever is in the heart will come out through the speech! You can never give out kind words toward your husband if your heart is full of unkind, bitter and hateful thoughts about him! You can try as hard as you can to hide them, but you can’t hide them forever and mark it down, eventually... THEY WILL COME OUT!!!

So what can a wife do if her heart is full of bitterness? Go to the Lord and ask Him to forgive you and give you the grace to truly forgive your husband and cleanse your heart of the sin of bitterness! As we said in marriage part2, the next time your husband hurts your feelings, train yourself to forgive immediately and by God’s grace, respond in love with kind words. Then, later when you remember these past hurts, don't play them over and over in your mind, immediately take those thoughts captive and give them to the Lord and choose to forgive again by faith. God will reward your obedience with genuine feelings of forgiveness in his time and your love for your husband will grow in your heart. Eventually, this positive biblical pattern of how to correctly respond in love will become second nature and your heart will be full of loving thoughts and feelings for your husband that will naturally come out of your mouth and the struggle to control your tongue will seem much easier!

Everything we are learning about being a Godly wife is impossible in our own strength and power! God wants to use all the difficulties in marriage to show us our need for Him and His power, which is only recieved through surrendering our wills to Him and spending much time in EFFECTUAL, FERVENT PRAYER and in STYUDING GOD"S WORD!!!

James 5:16
... The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

If you are not spending time in prayer and bible study DAILY, you will not have victory and become the Godly wife God wants you to be! And you will miss out on the sweet close relationship with our Lord Jesus! Remember, the ability you have to love your husband unconditionally, is directly related to HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THE LORD! The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will fall in love with Him and the more you love Him, the more you will love your husband and the more of a motivation you will have to SUFFER LONG and OBEY THE LAW OF KINDNESS for THE LORD"S SAKE!

ALL THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE WILL SEEM VERY SMALL IN THE LIGHT OF HIS PRESENCE AND IN THE PEACE AND JOY OF HIS LOVE!!!

Not many people, your husband included, can hold out being angry and unkind for very long when the person they are treating this way is responding back from their heart with sincere unconditional love in words and deeds! This requires TOTAL HUMILITY on your part. Your heart must be empty of all prideful responses. If you are pouring your heart into totally loving him with your words and actions, eventually his heart will soften and he will be very attracted to you again, everyone wants to be with someone who loves them unconditionally! And in time he will show you the love your heart desires!

Don’t forget, you have the power to make him great, or destroy his potential, and you will answer to God for your choice and for every idle word!

Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Remember, take every word through the filter of kindness before you speak!

Because Love.. is KIND!!!

Much Love in Him,

Marriage part 2: Wife, is your love CONDITIONAL?

2011-07-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

Dear ones,

In Marriage part 1, we discussed that God has commanded the “older women” to teach the younger to “love” their husbands. Many marriage problems are due to the fact that men and women are wired very differently and have very different needs. We learn to “Love our husbands”, by learning to meet HIS needs. Before we begin discussing his needs, we will look at what biblical love really is so we know what THE GOAL IS!

WHAT IS LOVE? part1

1 Corinthians 13 is often called the Love chapter. The kind of love that God is teaching us here is “agape” love, it is an unconditional Christ like love. In the following verses the word charity is used for love.

1 Corinthians 13

¹Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

²And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

³And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Wow, the first 3 verses tell us that even if we think we are spiritual because we can do lots of spiritual things and possess great spiritual gifts and a great measure of faith and make many great sacrifices and give very generously, but don’t know how to “LOVE”, we are just a lot of “NOISE”, and are “NOTHING” and it all profits us “NOTHING”!!!

NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

All those spiritual accomplishments are NOTHING, if we don’t know how to love!

God wants to use the marriage relationship and all its challenges to teach us what unconditional or "agape" love is. If we can learn to show God’s love to the person closest to us, our husbands, than we will be better equipped to show it to others.

In the next 4 verses, God shows us what the characteristics of unconditional love are. Let's look at each characteristic in depth and apply it to marriage.

(1 Cor. 13 cont.)

Verse 4: Charity suffereth long…

In verse 4 God says that love suffereth long. “Long suffering” means to SUFFER LONG for the one you are choosing to love. Notice I said,”CHOOSING TO LOVE”? LOVE IS A CHOICE, we don’t FALL into love, we CHOOSE to love someone, so we can CHOOSE to continue to love them even when it may be very difficult.

The principal of“long suffering” is a HUGE part of the Christian life! Jesus himself set the example by “SUFFERING LONG” for all of us, even to the point of DEATH ON THE CROSS!

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps.. 1 Peter 2:21

Have you ever stopped to think that Jesus had to “CHOOSE” to love and “SUFFER LONG” for all those who were crucifying him!? And all mankind, even those who would mock and reject his sacrifice of love on the cross?

He is our example and He wants to teach us and empower us to love others with that same “agape” love! But isn’t it impossible to love others that way? Yes, in our own strength, but if we let Him, Jesus will LOVE THROUGH US!

If you are in a difficult marriage, being willing to follow Jesus example of “suffering long” for the sake of your marriage, may be part of the “cross” that Jesus is asking you to bear.

Luke 9:23
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Luke 14:27
And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

Jesus commands all Christians who would follow Him to "take up their cross daily and follow Him”.

Difficulty in the marriage relationship can be a very heavy and painful cross to bear, but God’s grace IS SUFFICIENT if we will accept it.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…

When ever the Lord Jesus is using a difficult situation to teach us “long suffering”, it will be easier, if we think of it as an opportunity to show the Lord HOW MUCH WE LOVE HIM, by how big of a cross we are willing to bear for Him, this can even give us great joy! Once again, Jesus was our example in this, the Bible says that He endured the cross by focusing on THE JOY THAT WAS SET BEFORE HIM!

Hebrews 12:2
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross...

REMEMBER: God has SUFFICIENT grace available for every situation in our lives, but we have to ACCEPT it!

The truth is, in every marriage there will be a degree of “suffering long”for the sake of our husbands, our children and ultimately our Lord Jesus.

Let's look at another verse that directly connects “long suffering” with the role of the wife

1Peter 2:18-3:1

¹⁸Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.

¹⁹For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
²⁰For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

²¹For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

²²Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

²³Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

²⁴Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

²⁵For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

¹Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands…

In 1 Peter 2 verses 18-20 God tells us what kind of attitude He expects from servants toward their masters, whether their masters are good and gentle or forward. He expects them to have a good attitude about suffering, even if they are “suffering wrongfully”. He expects them to trust God to take care of the situation.

In verses 21-25, we are told that Jesus left us His example of the same kind of attitude in suffering for us to follow.

Now, what does this example of how a servant is to respond to suffering have to do with wives?

After verse 25, the next verse starts out with this phrase “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands…” The word “Likewise” is the key, it means; in the same way.

So God is saying, in the same way that servants are expected to respond to suffering from their masters and in the same way Jesus responded to suffering, is the same way we are to be subject to our husbands!

In order to truly love our husbands, we must learn to have the attitude of a humble servant, yielding our rights to God.

Why is this such a difficult thing? Because we are sinners and our flesh is strong and selfish! And because we are programmed by our culture from the cradle up to demand our own way, and to yield our rights to no one... ESPECIALLY NO MAN!!!

Allowing God to use our marriage to teach us this principal of “long suffering” is so critical to the success of our marriage and any other relationship in life.

To be willing to “suffer long” is one of the most powerful ways to show the unconditional love of Christ to our husbands, and an opportunity to show our Lord Jesus HOW MUCH WE LOVE HIM!

HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE THE LORD?

Jesus said,” if you love me, you will obey me”!

Are you willing to suffer for Him as He suffered for you?

The next time you are in a conflict with your husband, and he is insensitive to you and hurts your feelings and your heart whispers... HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE ME, I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!!

STOP! Stop allowing the sin of PRIDE to control your thinking and motivate your actions!

Whenever you have these thoughts and feelings, learn to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ! Ask yourself,"was this thought from God, does it line up with God's word"? NO! It is A LIE, from the father of all lies!

Remember 1 Peter 2:18- 3:1, how did God say he wanted us to respond to suffering? Even if we are suffering wrongly, we are to respond as a humble servant and follow Jesus example, by surrendering all our rights to God, and trust Him to take care of the rest!

So, STOP, HOLD YOUR TONGUE and pray for God's grace to forgive your husband and choose to show him unconditional love regardless of how he treats you! Only God can give you the grace to do this and you will experience the joy of victory over your PRIDE!

The more you CHOOSE to LOVE your husband UNCONDITIONALLY, the more love for him will grow in your heart, and the less his words and actions will hurt you.

That's the way God works, when we obey by faith and not by feelings, God blesses our obedience and then gives us the right feelings!

Our Pastor said it best this past Sunday,"The Christian life is not about the trials, but about our response to the trials"!

Remember... LOVE, SUFFERETH LONG !!!

In the next post, we will continue to look at each characteristic of love as it applies to marriage.

Much Love in Him,

Awww.....SPRING!!!

2011-07-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

Hello! I hope you are having a blessed summer! This post is originally from last spring, but of all my posts, this is the most viewed post, it has many hits everyday! I'm not sure why, it must be because of all the pictures of flowers! :) So, I am publishing it again while I finish the next post on the marriage series and the child training series... enjoy!

I absolutely LOVE spring and summer! I love gardening and starting out each day having my personal devotions in my flower garden! It's so beautiful and peaceful surrounded by God's glorious creation, with the birds singing in the background! I get out there as early as possible, around 5am, (with my tea brewed and ready, of course!)

After prayer and bible study, I tend my little garden for awhile in the cool morning.

I think I got my love for gardening from my sweet Granny! I can still picture her in her bonnet out tending her beloved garden with little me following close behind! :)

I love to read about and grow old fashioned flowers! Some of my favorites are hollyhocks, foxgloves, delphiniums, daisies, hydrangeas, lavender, geraniums and many others.

(Hollyhocks)

(Foxgloves)

(Delphinium)

(Daises)

(Hydrangeas)

(Lavender)

But my all time FAVORITE has to be the ROSE! I absolutely LOVE roses, especially pink ones! :)

I prefer antique roses because they are much hardier and disease resistant, which makes them so much easier to grow! :)

I can't even write about them without smiling, they give me so much pleasure! :) :) :)

I think one of the reasons I love spring so much is because it means that it is time to get out in the garden and plant and prepare for the coming season of summer and flowers and celebrations with loved ones! I love to get my hands in the soil, it's very therapeutic!

Gardening is also a very creative outlet, to design and picture before hand a flower garden or a trellis covered in roses, and then to see it come about over time is very exciting!

We have never had a "gardening budget" but somehow, no matter where we have lived, the Lord has always provided at least a little plot of earth and some flowers or seeds for me to be able to garden! Of course, this is not a "need" but He has chosen to provide it anyway, just to give me joy, just because He loves me!

(My little flower garden filled with flowers my Mother gave me for Mother's Day)

I have so many beautiful stories of the Lord's provision in the past, but this year He worked in the heart of our landlord! One day she was visiting and admiring the little flower garden I had planted last year in our backyard with the flowers my sweet Mother had given me for Mother's Day. Then she asked me if I would put in another flower bed in our yard. She would give me the money and I would get to pick out my favorite flowers and plant them!!!

I was so excited at how the Lord had arranged it all so that I got to design the new flower bed, pick out, buy and plant all my favorite flowers for FREE! I know, your thinking, not free, you had to do all the labor! Yes, but that's my favorite part.... gardening!

(I'm planting a pink climbing rose next to our trellis. It starts out like this as a bare root plant but someday will have beautiful pink roses all over the trellis!)

I had so much fun and now I love to tend to the new flowerbed and use the cutting roses in it for beautiful fresh flower arrangements for our table! God is so good!

Another great joy is seeing my little ones growing up with the same love for the outdoors and gardening that I have!

They love to help me plant and water and tend the garden.

I love to see them run through the grass with their bare feet and their hair and skirts blowing in the breeze.

Just the other day, I was looking over the flowers daydreaming, when I felt a little hand slip into mine and I heard the words ,"isn't it all so lovely Mommy, Jesus must love us so much"! Yes little one...SO MUCH!

Every morning after a walk with Daddy, my daughter Alexandra makes the family a delicious breakfast. But breakfast is even more special when spring comes because we all love to eat outside on our deck surrounded by the flower garden!

(watermelon and homemade baked oatmeal with cinnamon and pecans)

(breakfast and family devotions with Daddy on our deck)

(Joey, Adelaide and Priscilla enjoying breakfast)

(Baby Benjamin, now 6mths., keeps us all laughing!)

Another favorite thing about spring that the little ones look forward to is "school outdoors". Usually we do all our elementary school right after breakfast when the little ones are freshest. And in the spring, we take it all outside and enjoy the beauty while we learn together!

I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. ~Helen Keller

Yes, I love spring and summer and all the beautiful memories that we are making together. Memories that I will have in my heart when my little ones are grown and gone!

(My Priscilla Rose watering the flowers for Mommy!)

Dear Lord, thank you for spring and summer, for flowers and soil, for your beautiful sun and calming rain, for the birds singing and my babies laughing, for little chubby hands in the soil next to mine and all the reminders of how much you love us!

Much Love in Him,

Reposted from May 23, 2010

Are you a crowned queen to your husband...or a curse?

2011-06-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank all the sweet ladies that have emailed me over the past 6 months. I have enjoyed corresponding with you all and I consider it an honor to answer your questions and help in any way I can. Thank you for being so patient with me, sometimes it takes awhile for me to have time to respond. I also want to thank you for your prayers, it has been such a blessing to hear that so many of you are faithfully praying for me!

Many of you have requested that I would continue the child training series, I am now working on part 5, which should be done soon. You have also asked about many other topics that I will try to address as time allows. I think the biggest response I have gotten (next to the posts on child training) is from the post “ My Hero of the Faith”, a tribute to my husband’s life. I was overwhelmed by all the emails I received commenting on that post. All were very positive and many asked if I would do a series on marriage, one with lots of practical applications and examples. Many of you have had questions about the marriage relationship and have shared some very real and difficult struggles you are facing. I am praying that this series on marriage will be a blessing and help you see what the root problems may be, so they can be fixed and your marriage can grow and bring glory to God.

MARRIAGE PART 1

“It is a high honor for a woman to be chosen from among all womankind to be the wife of a good and true man. She is lifted up to be a crowned queen. Her husband’s manly love laid at her feet exalts her to the throne of his life. Great power is placed in her hands. Sacred dispositions are reposed in her keeping. Will she wear her crown beneficently? Will she fill her realm with beauty and with blessing? Or will she fail in her holy trust? Only her married life can be the answer. JR Miller

Are you a crowned queen to your husband…or a curse?

Being a godly wife and a queen to our husbands does not come natural, the Word of God says we must be taught to love our husbands.

The aged women…That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children… Titus 2:3-4

“Falling in love” seems to come very natural, but loving your husband day in and day out for the rest of your life is a different kind of love. It involves a level of giving of self and commitment that is impossible without the grace and power of our Lord Jesus. This type of love must be taught and God was very specific who He assigned the task to…”the aged women”. Only another woman can fully comprehend what it is to submit your life, body and the most intimate part of yourself to another person, until death do you part. It would be improper for a man to try to teach some of these things to young women. God of course knew all this when He assigned the job to the aged women.

I believe a main cause of so many Christian marriages failing, is the lack of social structure that was in place in bible times. The older women worked alongside the younger women teaching these important truths in the home. If the newly married bride had questions or problems she had an older more experienced wife right there to help, counsel and encourage her. It was understood that that was the job, the “ministry” of the aged women, to teach and prepare the next generation. Now most “aged women” are working and not available to teach and minister to the younger women. The younger women are isolated from this very vital relationship and the church has reaped tragic results. I believe most churches do not comprehend the struggles that most young brides are facing and the great need they have for teaching from the aged women.

I began to realize this need when my husband was in Bible College, many young women would come to me for help with marriage and mothering issues. And now, I am receiving so many emails in response to this blog, with the same questions about the same issues.

So, in the spirit of Titus 2:3-5, I will attempt to share what the Lord and other Godly women have taught me in the last 24 years of marriage. I am not perfect in any area, and still have times that I struggle, but it is always when I get my focus off the Lord and my husband, and put it on myself. But the Lord is always faithful to forgive me and get me back on track. He has shown me the goal and with His grace, I strive to achieve it and when I do obey what I know, He blesses in a mighty way and gives me above and beyond what I could ask or think.

On this journey of life that the Lord is leading me through, I have had the privilege of meeting many wonderful Godly ladies. During the years that my husband was in Bible College and the years of traveling on deputation as Missionaries, I met so many ladies at every church and we were in 1 to 3 churches per week for 3 years. I developed many close friendships that I treasure to this day. So many ladies along the way have confided in me of their problems and struggles in marriage and after a while I began to see a common pattern. I believe that most of these conflicts result from us as women, not truly understanding and meeting the needs of our husbands. It is our “natural” response to think,” well my husband does not understand and meet my needs either!” That may be our response, but it is not the correct response that the Lord would want us to have. That response in it's self shows an error in our thinking.

In the marriage relationship, God has set a structure of authority. The husband is the authority or leader and the wife is the subordinate or follower. Any time the subordinate puts their whole heart into meeting the needs of the authority, it is the natural response of the authority to meet the needs of the subordinate. This is how God has designed the relationship, to try to have your needs met any other way is fruitless, and only God’s ways work and bring glory to him.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22-24

This fact may be a blow to our pride, but as Christians, we want to weed out all pride in our life, so we can receive the Lord’s grace that we so desperately need to do His will.

… for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 1 peter 5:5

Wife, the key to having your needs fulfilled, is to pour your heart into fulfilling your husbands needs. The more effort and love you put into his needs, the more he will naturally respond in a way that will meet your needs, this is God's plan, God has wired men this way.

The main problem is that most women don't understand what his real needs are, so they can't begin to meet them. The main reason for this misunderstanding is because men and women are wired so differently, I don't think we can ever fully comprehend the difference! The older I get, the more amazed I am at the difference! Because God wired men so different from women, they see life from a totally different perspective, they think differently, respond differently and have totally different needs!

We naturally know what our own needs are and just assume that their needs are the same, or at least very similar. But in reality they are totally different! No wonder there are so many misunderstandings in marriages!

So, then what are men's real needs? We will be covering those needs in the next posts.

If you feel your spirit resisting God’s plan for marriage, you need to go to Him in prayer and ask Him to cleanse your heart of pride and help you submit to Him. In Ephesians 5:22-24, after the words “ wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands”, there are 4 little words “ as unto the Lord”, this is the key to this verse. “As unto the Lord” means as if he is the Lord. Whenever we are having trouble submitting to our husbands, we are really having trouble submitting to the Lord. This should be a huge warning sign that our heart is not right with God.

In Genesis, we see God’s great plan for marriage unfold. God created the beautiful universe and everything in it, all of creation. Then He formed His ultimate creation…the man. He is special and above all other creation because he was made in God’s own image and God has an incredible job for him to do. Later, God would prove man’s value and His great love for Him by sending himself to earth to purchase salvation for all mankind on the cross of Calvary, God did this so that man would not have to be separated from God for all eternity.

Adam must have been a magnificent man, remember, at this point he was still without sin, he was PERFECT! But even in his state of perfection, God Himself said that it was not good that Adam be alone , but that he needed an Helpmeet, another creation to help- meet his needs.

This new creation was formed from Adams body, not identical but in a way that would meet his physical need for intimacy and his emotional need for love and companionship and in a way that would multiply mankind on the earth. This new creation was called women, what an important and vital role God designed her to fill. Understanding this truth is the key to a women’s fulfillment in marriage. God created the roles of husband and wife in such a way that each one needs the other to fulfill God’s plan and accomplish His will. God has a great job for man to do, but man needs the woman to fill his needs so he can do his job to the best of his ability.

Meeting her husband’s needs is the woman's great role that God literally designed her for. This should give us great fulfillment when we understand how much men need us and that that is God’s greatest purpose for creating us.

It has been said,” God accomplishes great things, through great men, who are inspired and motivated by the love of a great woman”.

The wife has been given great power, she holds the key to her husbands heart, if she learns to use her power correctly, she can inspire and motivate him to reach great heights, she can literally make or break him and his future, and ultimately, her families future. How will we use our power, for good or evil?

Do you want to be a great woman that God can use to inspire your husband to do great things for Him? Do you want to receive heavenly rewards for being the great women of faith that God is calling you to be? God alone can make you that woman, by His power and by obeying His plan. We must do it His way, for He alone will judge us and give us eternal rewards.

We need to pray that God will mold us into great women of faith for the sake of our husbands, our children and “the cause of Christ”. How can your marriage affect the cause of Christ? In the following verses the scriptures tell us that the marriage relationship is a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:22-26

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32

God wants to use the Christian marriage to show the world a picture of His relationship and love for the church. He would never forsake the church, it is the “bride of Christ” and the church cannot be taken from Him.

The “church” is made of all believers who have trusted Christ for eternal salvation. For them to be taken from Him would mean that a believer can “lose” his salvation, that would violate scripture. The bible says we are sealed by the Holy Spirit, we can never lose our salvation. We belong to Christ for all eternity, He bought our salvation with His own blood.

…in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise,
Ephesians 1:12-13

Knowing that God wants to use our marriages to show such an important picture to the world should motivate us to obey God’s command to” present our bodies a living sacrifice”. And to be willing to make what ever sacrifices necessary to make a great marriage and keep it from failing. This should motivate us to ask God to cleanse us of pride, bitterness and change our hearts till we become soft, submissive vessels that he can use to truly love our husbands as He designed us to. When we do this, then God can use us to build our husbands up to be great men that will lead our families, accomplish great things for the cause of Christ and reach the world with the message of His great love.

The role of the wife is a great honor, it is our first and greatest ministry for our Lord Jesus and our greatest life work, what a privilege to serve Him through loving our husbands!

In Marriage part 2, we will begin to discuss exactly what are the needs of our husbands and how we can fulfill them.

Much Love in Him,

Christian...Are You Suffering?

2011-06-01T23:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

A few weeks ago I had the honor of speaking at a Ladies Banquet at a church in town. What a sweet group of ladies, they were so kind and made me feel like one of their own church family.

Whenever I speak to a ladies group, I always fast and pray to seek the Lord about what He would have me share with them. This time the Lord immediately brought to mind the topic of suffering.

This past winter has been a “season” of suffering for our family. As most of you already know we lost our baby Timmy when I was almost 7 months pregnant and on the evening of his funeral we received a call that my sister’s cancer had spread to her lungs, brain and liver.

From that point on, every week for about 10 weeks, we had some sort of emergency complications that would send her to the hospital and more than once we were told that she would not survive the procedure being done on her. At her last hospital stay the doctor said she was not expected to survive the week. She then met with a Pastor and planned out her funeral. She was ready to go home to be with the Lord Jesus. The rest of us tried to prepare ourselves and though our hearts were hurting, we all had peace knowing that the Lord knows what is best for all of us.

Then, she started getting stronger and week by week she continued to improve. We are all praying for a miracle, yet we are still trying to keep our hearts surrendered to the Lord’s will. Right now we are just thankful for a little more time with her.

Through all the suffering of losing my baby and watching my sister suffer so much and waste away before my eyes( which she keeps telling me is harder on me than it is on her), the Lord has taught me much and reminded me of things I already knew but needed to learn in a deeper way. I have also learned much by my sister’s Godly example of how to respond to suffering.

I knew the Lord was teaching me and changing me through all of this, so one day I could share what I have learned, and hopefully be of help to someone else. Even though the Lord has given me a great measure of grace to get past the pain of losing Timmy (which I believe is greatly due to all the faithful prayers that have been said on my behalf). And though I have great joy at the thought of little Timmy being with Jesus, I still did not feel that I was ready to speak publicly about it. So, I kept asking the Lord if there was anything else He wanted me to share with the ladies at the banquet, maybe something less painful? Every day I would pray and ask the Lord again, but He continued to put the topic of suffering on my heart.

The Lord is so faithful, He gave me the strength and grace to make it through the banquet. And though many tears were shed, He answered my prayers and used the time to minister to those sweet ladies. Many shared that they had also had a winter of deep suffering and that what I had shared helped them to see their sufferings in a new light and had lifted a burden of pain from their hearts! Some also shared that they had been struggling with bitterness and now they could see more clearly what the Lord was trying to do in their lives which helped them let go of that bitterness. Praise the Lord! He is so FAITHFUL! And His MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER!

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I thought I would share some of what the Lord has shown me through His word during this season of suffering.

There are three very crucial reasons that we as Christians must suffer and it is so important that we understand why, so we can respond correctly.

1) If we want CHRIST’S POWER…we must accept His suffering.

(Philippians 3:10) “That I may know Him, and the POWER of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death”.

2) If we want CHRIST’s GLORY…we must welcome His suffering.

(1 Peter 4:12-13) “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial…But rejoice in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory shall be revealed ye may be glad also with exceeding joy”.

3) If we want to REIGN WITH CHRIST…we must suffer with Him.

(2 Timothy 2:12) “If we suffer, we shall also reign with Him”.

Bitterness is simply the result of not seeing suffering from God’s perspective, which causes us to respond wrongly to it.

(Proverbs 4:23) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

(Hebrews 12:15) “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

When we are suffering through a trial, we must choose to surrender to the Lord’s will, trust what He is doing and allow Him to change us through it. I am not saying that we will not have tears or pain or experience grief, but knowing God has a plan for our suffering and that it will be for our good gives us hope and peace and protects us from the lies of the enemy, and from bitterness.

Here are some of the purposes for suffering

1) Suffering is God’s method of Purifying our faith

(Heb. 11:6) “But without faith it is impossible to please him…

Our faith needs to be tested from time to time in the fires of suffering.

(1Pet. 1:6-7) “ Now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ”.

2) Suffering can be one of God’s ways of getting our attention.

Because of the “cares of this world”, God has to constantly compete for our attention.

When suffering comes into our lives, we are now faced with problems that are too big for us and force us to turn to Him and rely on Him to get us through the suffering.

3) Suffering is our assurance that God loves us.

(Heb. 12:6-7) “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom He recieveth. If we endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons, for what son is He whom the father chaseneth not?”

4) Suffering can be God’s call for self examination.

(1Cor. 11:31-32) “For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world”.

5) Suffering is God’s way of conquering our pride.

(Proverbs 29:23) “A man’s pride shall bring him low, but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit”.

6) Suffering is a reminder of our weaknesses.

(2 Cor. 12:7-10) “ There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice that it might depart from me. And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weekness, most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ shall rest upon me."

7) Suffering is our motivation to cry out to God.

God responds to the cry of His children when they suffer.

(Psalms 34:17) “ The righteous cry and the Lord heareth and delivereth them out of all their troubles”

8) Suffering is our preparation for comforting others.

(2 Cor. 1:3-5) “ For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ”.

Usually the most compassionate people are those who have suffered the most in their lives. When I was going through losing my baby, those women that comforted me the most were the ones who had also suffered that same loss. Especially the ones that had not only suffered a late term miscarriage, but experienced the deep pain of giving birth to a baby that had already passed on and the heart wrenching moment when you had to hand over that little body, knowing you would never hold it again in this life. Without this experience in my life, I could have never comprehended that kind of pain, or been able to relate to women who have gone through it. In a sense, the Lord has broadened my ability to comfort more women than I could have before.

The same is true for my sister’s cancer, I could have never comprehended what someone with cancer suffers if I had not had someone so close to me going through it. Or what the family members suffer if I had not experienced it.

Every circumstance of suffering in our lives can be turned into a ministry opportunity if we respond correctly!

9) Suffering is God’s call to identify with Christ.

One of the ultimate purposes of suffering, is to cause us to desire more of Christ’s power in our lives.

(Phil. 3:10) “ That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death”.

As Christians, our goal is to become Christlike.
THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO BECOME LIKE CHRIST…THROUGH THE CROSS!

The cross is a symbol of pain... and suffering.
( Matthew 16:24) Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Let us all be willing to submit to God’s purposes for suffering. And through suffering, allow the Holy Spirit to conform us into the image of His son.

Much Love in Him,

Congratulations Ally !!!

2011-05-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Ones,

I hope your all doing well and enjoying this beautiful spring! :) There are many things the Lord has put on my heart to post about but we have been so busy with 3 birthdays in May and other big events, I have not had the time, but I thought I would share a little of what's been going on.

We have always encouraged the children to learn an instrument and to sing so they will be able to minister in music and to the Lord.

Our sweet daughter Ally has always loved music and started taking piano when she was 6 years old. Now she has the honor of playing piano for our church and teaching piano to her students. She has also been taking voice training for about 3 years now and is doing very well. She is at the level where she is ready for her own private recital. A couple of weeks ago it was finally here. She sang 13 classical songs, English, French, Spanish and Italian. She did a beautiful job and we are so proud of her and all the hard work she did practicing everyday.

Our son Nick has just started voice training as well and Jon is soon to follow.

We really enjoyed Ally's first private voice recital, so I thought I would share some photos with you all of her big event...enjoy!

P.S. Thank you to our dear friends the Campbells for the beautiful photos!

(Ally's teacher accompanying her on piano)

(Ally with a very proud Mom and Dad!)

(Ally and I at her reception following the recital)

(Her cake was a surprise! I had so much fun designing and making it for the reception! She chose black, red and white as her color scheme. Her favorite part was the red crystals hanging off the round cake board at the bottom and the cake topper made of red crystal beads shaped in an A for Ally! A very Shabby Chic Classy cake, which is also VERY ALLY!)

(Ally with her Mamaw and her aunt Lora. It was such a blessing and an answer to prayer that my sister Lora, who has breast cancer, had the strength to come to Ally's recital! I know it meant the world to Ally!

We also want to thank my mother, Ally's Mamaw for financing Ally's voice training and investing so much in her life!)

(Ally and her voice teacher, who we also want to thank for being such a great and patient teacher!)

Thank you to all our family and friends and church family who were able to attend Ally's first private voice recital! We were so blessed to see you all there!

Congratulations Ally, you did such a lovely job! You are such a blessing to us! We pray that when you are done training, you will always use your beautiful voice to bring glory to God!

Much Love in Him,